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The Madonna Timeline: Song #120 – ‘Holy Water’ – Fall 2015

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

 

I CAN GIVE YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT

(BITCH GET OFF MY POLE! BITCH GET OFF MY POLE!)

YOU CAN’T BUY THIS AT NO LUXURY STORE

(BITCH GET OFF MY POLE! BITCH GET OFF MY POLE!)

One of the unexpected highlights of The Rebel Heart Tour has been Madonna’s performance of ‘Holy Water’ (yes, a proper tour review is still forthcoming). Previously, the song was a Prince-like throwaway from the otherwise iconic ‘Rebel Heart’ album, but as with most of her live performances, Madonna elevates the song into something much richer and more exciting than its original incarnation.

Cheeky and borderline-blasphemous, it’s classic Madonna, and the lyrics suggest a naughty simile comparing holy water with pussy juice. (Yeah, I said it, no need to wet it.) As I mentioned, I was not initially impressed with the track, but bring in some pole-dancing nuns and a phantasmagoric last-supper scene brought to life, along with that sneaky ‘Vogue’ mash moment, and suddenly I’m on board.

THERE’S A PLACE YOU GOTTA GO BEFORE I LET YOU TAKE IT ALL

IT’S LIKE A DRUG, IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

BABY YOU SHOULD GET DOWN LOW AND TASTE MY PRECIOUS ALCOHOL

YOU LOOK SO THIRSTY I THINK YOU NEED IT…

KISS IT BETTER, KISS IT BETTER, DON’T IT TASTE LIKE HOLY WATER?

MAKE IT WETTER, MAKE IT WETTER, DON’T IT TASTE LIKE HOLY WATER?

KISS IT BETTER, MAKE IT WETTER, DON’T IT TASTE LIKE HOLY WATER?

KISS IT BETTER, KISS IT BETTER…

It’s got a sinfully sinister bassline that worms its way into your ear, as well as lots of aural sex hiccups that burst like little orgasms along the trail to sexual salvation. Nobody melds sex and religion as masterfully as Madonna, and even if it’s been done before, it’s still a hoot and a half.

THERES SOMETHING YOU GOTT HIT, IT’S SACRED AND IMMACULATE

I CAN LET YOU IN HEAVEN’S DOOR

I PROMISE YOU IT’S NOT A SIN, FIND SALVATION DEEP WITHIN

WE CAN DO IT HERE ON THE FLOOR…

SONG #120 – ‘Holy Water’ – Fall 2015

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