Musings on the Mall

Random thoughts on a recent visit to Crossgates Mall (which is quickly becoming the most depressing place in the world):

Abercrombie & Fitch and Victoria’s Secret are apparently in the midst of a fragrance war, and everybody is losing.

October 30 is way too soon to have Christmas decorations going up, much less to have Christmas music playing.

A sneaky skin cream salesperson trapped me with her “Do you have a special lady in your life?” line. I thought I was smugly safe when I answered, “I’m married to a man” but she didn’t miss a beat, asking “Don’t you have a mother or sister who you would consider a special lady?” Damn.

After dismissing skin cream woman a second time, her co-hort examined my hand and asked what I used for my dry skin. Not the best way to gain my favor, and if I’m holding two heavy shopping bags in each hand I really don’t see how I’m going to sample that cream you’re carrying over to me in a spoon.

If I make eye contact with you as you’re about to approach me with a survey, and you see me cross over to the other side to avoid you, that’s my polite way of declining your request. If you cross over to talk to me, I will be rude.

Shopping is not a social event for me. I enjoy doing it by myself. I will say hello and give a quick wave, but please don’t engage. If you insist, I will be rude.

If you’re the fifth person to come up to me asking if I need help in a store, and I see a line at the register, I will be fucking rude.

The bottom line is that now that the holiday shopping season is upon us, I’m just going to be rude. Don’t talk to me until the January sales begin.

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