Mid-Week, Mid-Winter, Mid-Life Crisis? Not Yet…

On the tenth floor of my office building, at 7:13 in the morning, I am one of the only people around. The sky’s color is swelling, its lavender overture ripening into fiery pink and warm salmon, and then the bright explosion of sun, radiating from one central point so many miles away. It lights up the Hudson River, today covered in snow, but beautifully so, throwing off the blue light of the dawn’s pure sky. I take in the moment, pausing at the window, allowing the light to wash over me. Basking in such beauty works wonders for the soul, if we let it.

Sometimes it must seem like there are a lot of cryptic messages going on in this blog, and sometimes there are, but for the most part you only hear about the drama and the highlights – not the majority of quiet days, so I just want to set a few minds at ease. I’m not having a breakdown. I’m not having a mid-life crisis (I don’t plan on dying so young). I’m not shooting up or having online sex with strangers or buying little red corvettes. I am, however, trying to live a better life. A healthier one – especially regarding eating and drinking, a bit more exercise, and a kinder countenance. Over the last few months, I’ve noticed a steady decline in the way I treat myself, as well as in the way I treat others, and I’m going to turn that around.

It’s not so much a drastic transformation as a simple realignment. I’m not that broken, just a little jarred. There is work involved, and this week quite a bit of it, as I work to examine what has changed in the last few months, and where I’m going in the next few weeks. There is value in that work though, and I know quite well the importance of the process over the actual results. Where this takes me is anyone’s guess. I realize that with any growth and evolution, certain things – sometimes even people – must be left behind. What comes of such grand plans is usually a mixed bag. I’m hopeful the bag has more good than bad, and that it comes stamped with a Tom Ford logo.

Some things are better left unchanged.

And some things aren’t.

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