Processing these last weeks of my 50th year hasn’t been as simple or easy as the bulk of this year had led me to believe – in fact, I’m still in a slight state of shock as to how suddenly and overwhelmingly I feel the rush of time, as well as how those who come into and out of our lives can do so in such swift and cruel motion. Maybe it’s the anniversary of Dad’s death, the approach of my own 51st, or the hints of fall that carried on the wind and rain during the recent deluges. Whichever the case, something has me emotionally spooked and mentally disturbed – definitely a more fitting feeling for fall than this last full month of summer.
August used to be such a treat, culminating with my birthday, often a full-day destination event no matter the day of the week, it still being summer. This year, like many years of late, I don’t find the same excitement or thrill in a birthday – at the time of this writing I haven’t even sent out a wish list (which, when you truly think about it, is the opposite of high-maintenance but I digress). Maybe this is the mark of finally growing up – you give up the stupid shit that brought your childhood self such silly joy. Or maybe I’m just lowering expectations so my birthday stands a chance of not disappointing. I won’t hurt people by regaling you with episodes to support that statement.
Oh dear – is August about to get messy? Stick around and find out – I’d just about made my mind up to throw this summer out with the baby and the bathwater, but let’s see if I have some sultry sass still in me…
Meanwhile, wildflowers are showing off this brilliant color – in the thistles and loosestrife – a reminder that August has only just begun her show…
