Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Once bitten, twice stupid.

Fuck being shy.

#TinyThreads

When does the #AlanIlaganIsOverParty start trending? Because I am done with this shit. 

#TinyThreads

{Instagram is better.}

Eventually, all things gaudy and in poor taste find their way into my favor. At this moment, that’s a flocked Christmas tree. 

If you don’t like it, flock you. 

#TinyThreads

It’s never too late to have a moment of redemption. 

Happy Christmas Eve.

#TinyThreads

Regarding office present protocol: I don’t give gifts. I only receive.

No hard feelings.

#TinyThreads

Many work days consist mostly of inadvertently recreating John Krasinski’s reaction shots from ‘The Office’ – and I never even watched ‘The Office’.

#TinyThreads

I do so love an overture, even though it seems to be in danger of getting lost. I suppose that has its good and bad points. People are late enough – an overture might just be another reason for people to push their arrival time further out. The world turns…

{Here’s one of the greatest overtures ever written, far better than its accompanying show: ‘Candide.’}

#TinyThreads 

Regarding your Ugly Christmas Sweater: it’s the ‘Christmas’ that sets it apart from your other sweaters, right?

#TinyThreads

It’s almost soup season. My first will be a split pea soup using the hambone from dinner a few nights ago.  What is your poison?

#TinyThreads

What is the point of desiccating perfectly good fruit in the sun? I’m talking to you, raisins and sun-dried tomatoes. You gag me.

#TinyThreads

The days of three-way calling are long gone.

Still, I remember them with a smile.

Click twice.

#TinyThreads

Me, at work: “I think my hearing’s going. Thank God.”

#TinyThreads

Rarely does anything good come of a text thread with more than five people on it.

#WhittleMeThis

#TinyThreads

Are the people who have to write ‘TBH’ generally lying the rest of the time?

#TinyThreads

How is it that I can type a perfectly-spelled and perfectly-punctuated text message 200 characters long with my thumb on a screen the size of a walnut, but cannot fit one of these things back in the shelf unit in less than five tries? 

#TinyThreads