About to Get Kinky

Coming up: my review of ‘Kinky Boots’ – the show that just won the Tony for Best Musical – and the best musical I’ve seen in a decade. Here are the six rules gleaned from the grand finale:

1. Pursue the truth.

2. Learn something new.

3. Accept yourself, and you’ll accept others too.

4. Let love shine.

5. Let pride be your guide.

6. You change the world when you change your mind.

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Lazy Ass Monday Recap

Having spent an amazing weekend in NYC with my Mom and best friend (details to come), I’m a bit tired out to post much right now, but I’ll do the usual Monday morning recap, just don’t look too deeply for inspiration.

A man from the past returned for a brief encounter, only to remind me of last summer.

Green was the color of the week, represented by the lady’s mantle, chives, and the celadon poppy.

Also, the green fairy dripped into The Fascinator.

The Hunks of the Day were represented by this unrelated trio of men: Ian Ziering, Neil Patrick Harris, and Oguchi Onyewu.

And finally, another installment of a relatively secret project.

 

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Happy Father’s Day

Sometimes I think that being a Dad might be the hardest job in the world. Yes, it’s usually the thankless role of being a mother that gets all the hardest-job-in-the-world accolades, but every so often I wonder about what it takes to be a father, especially today. I know I could never do it. But my Dad and my brother are both fine examples of how it can be done – if not perfectly, at least pretty damn well. That’s the problem with Dads – they’re never perfect, and their sons never let them forget it. Hopefully I’ve shown my Dad that, imperfections and all, I love him. Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out all – especially mine.

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On the Train for Reno

At the moment of this writing, I’m ensconced in a hotel on the upper East Side, winding down from a double dose of musical theater with Mom. As such, today’s posts will be light, if they arrive at all. Stay tuned. We’re doing this in real time… Hold onto your hats!

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The Fascinator Cocktail

How could I not love anything with a name like the ‘Fascinator Cocktail’? Aside from its association with those cool British wedding accessories (not to mention the power to fascinate), the addition of absinthe gives this cocktail an additional exotic bite. (Former absinthe experiences will not be recounted here and now. But one day… watch out.) I’m not a huge fan of the wormwood, but since it was just a couple of dashes it wasn’t that bad. Worse, to my palette, was the copious amount of vermouth. I like my martinis dry for this very reason, and this was like one very wet martini, the absolute worst kind.

Fascinator Cocktail

Adapted from “Savoy Cocktail Book” (1933 edition)

2 dashes absinthe

1 ounce dry vermouth

2 ounces gin

1 mint leaf

Shake liquid ingredients well with ice and strain into a chilled coupe. Garnish with a mint leaf.

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The Summer Before

It all came flooding back the other day, when I was spending a lunch on a cobblestone street in downtown Albany, practicing selfies for my new Instagram account. The man rounded the corner and caught me off-guard. I pretended to be doing something else with my phone, though with arm extended and stupid smile on my face I’m sure he figured out what was going on. He smiled and said hello. At first it didn’t register. Was he someone from work? Was he a bartender from a place I patronized? Or, worse, was he someone I slept with in my early twenties? In a bathroom no less? Suddenly I remembered. A cool courtroom. A few blocks away. At this time last year.

He was the prosecutor for the murder trial on which I served as a juror. And then the floodgates opened up to a host of memories – pleasant and unpleasant that comprised the days before, after, and during that trial. A Gay Pride weekend in Boston with my friend Kiera right before I reported for duty. A hawk screaming wildly in my backyard. A vodka stinger, straight up and torturously strong.

In that week or so, I lived another life, cut off from communicating with friends and family, listening to lawyers and witnesses and doctors, and trying vainly to make sense of how one person could kill another person, whether by accident or intent. It took a few months to do much of the processing it took to get over it, and I had to come to terms with the fact that it may not be something you ever really get over. There are things that may haunt us forever, stains that are impossible to eradicate. This may be one of those things, resurfacing with a vaguely familiar face, a certain time of year, a specific location. It never goes away, does it? Even at the start of summer.

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Pot it Up

Aside from a few ferns on the front porch, and a couple of gigantic containers of Brugmansia (Angel’s trumpets) a number of years ago (which eventually grew too large to over-winter) I haven’t done much container gardening until this year. My focus was always on, and in, the ground. Yet it turns out I was missing out, and each summer I’d gaze at the barren patio of the backyard and regret not having planted something, say, before the date of a party or family gathering. This year I planted a number of containers – filled with sweet potato vines, coleus, begonias, and a couple of elephant ear bulbs in the old Brugmansia container. The latter just started poking through the soil, and it looks like we’ll have a verdant backdrop to our get-togethers.

PS – These petunias are electric.

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On Broadway, With My Mother

This weekend marks the resurrection of a former tradition, and I’m taking my Mom to New York to see ‘Kinky Boots’ and ‘Pippin’. (Okay, she’s providing the hotel and train tix – because Broadway musicals are expensive!) I’m looking forward to it, as it’s been a while since I had some one-on-one time with my Mom. I’m also psyched about these shows, as ‘Kinky Boots’ just won the Tony Award for Best Musical and ‘Pippin’ just won for Best Revival of a Musical. (I picked these a few weeks ago on a hunch. I wish I’d played the lottery instead.)

Last week in Boston I purchased the ‘Kinky Boots’ soundtrack for the ride home, and whether it was the way music on a Sunday morning ride sounds more moving, or my malleable mood, I listened from beginning to end and teared up in more than a few spots from the melody and words. ‘Soul of a Man’ and ‘Not My Father’s Son’ alone should wring emotion from the driest emotional wells. (It turns out I have a reserve after all.)

I know less about ‘Pippin’, but it’s gotten very good reviews, and visually it looks stunning. Give me a circus theme and I’m generally a happy boy. The fact that the music was written by the same gentleman who wrote ‘Wicked’ also bodes well (Stephen Schwartz).

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6:13

There was only one thing that Grandpa grew in his garden, and that was tomatoes. He dismissed the silly ladies who bothered with roses and flowers. He smirked at the acres of corn fields that reached to the sky just across the street. He even turned his nose up at the pumpkin patch where his grandchildren roamed in the fall. The one thing he did not dismiss was a proper patch of tomatoes, so when the first vine-ripened fruit of the season was stolen from his garden, it was a major event.

It had just started showing its signature red that week, after slivers of salmon and peach had erased the green, and he thought it could use one more day in the sun. On the following morning he rose, a proud man, slipping on his suspenders – red, in honor of what was to come – and, hurrying downstairs, ignored the cries for proffered coffee. When he reached the garden he was initially confused, thinking he had misjudged or misremembered where it had been. But he was certain – the third row, after the third fence rail – and upon closer inspection he found the stem that once held his magnificent fruit. A clean cut had severed tomato from plant, and a lesser-trained eye would have been altogether indifferent. The howl that resulted rattled even mother, who rarely showed signs of surprise at any of Grandpa’s idiosyncrasies, especially when it came to the garden.

He sat down with us kids later that day and explained the situation. There were a few usual suspects – rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, and groundhogs – and then the more unlikely culprits – skunks, raccoons, dogs, and mischievous neighborhood kids. Until they were proven innocent, everyone in Grandpa’s eyes was guilty. His looks stung too, even if you had an alibi in summer camp, even if you weren’t within a fifty mile radius for the entire week of the incident.

From that day on, he sat on the back porch, eyes always on the tomato patch, from the break of dawn until the last firefly glowed its final exhaustive blink. He caught a few dogs sniffing around, grumpily disbanded a couple of roving bands of kids, and watched how the sun passed over his backyard, but there was no sign of the thief who had taken the first tomato.

He did expect that such treachery had taken place in the night, when the nocturnal animals did most of their damage. He’d heard stories of entire vegetable plots that were decimated by a single rabbit or woodchuck in one night, terrifying tales of gardens stripped of all meaningful vegetation, with nothing left but a few broken stalks, too tough to chew but damned if they didn’t try.

A little after noon one day, he took his straw hat off and slowed the rocking of his chair. Abigail had brought him a lemonade, and it sat sweating on the table beside him.

“Any luck?” she asked.

He contemplated her presence, shadowy and dark after he had been staring out into the sunlit yard all morning. “Nooo,” he slowly drawled, lingering and leaving a question at the very end. “But I am almost sure it happened at night. Not much happening here during the day. Charlie and Joan’s kids ran through, told them to leave us be, serious work to do and can’t have kids running through the place.”

Abigail sighed but said no more. She was always the most mature among us kids, the one who could talk to adults and have them listen. On this day she offered no more. The screen door clapped loudly against the house as she disappeared inside. The faint scuffling of her slipper-clad feet faded into the afternoon as Grandpa continued his vigil.

He wondered whether it was an underground job. There was an entire system of tunnels just beneath the earth, the elaborate maze of entrances and hallways dug surreptitiously by chipmunks and moles and voles that could suddenly collapse and deaden an entire row of vegetables, causing them to go mysteriously limp in a day, dead and without nourishment upon the unseen severing of their roots. He’d also heard tales of such animals appearing out of nowhere, wrestling a tomato from the vine, and disappearing underground in a few seconds flat. That could have been the covert operation that successfully tore his treasure from its ripening home.

He walked slowly around the garden, carefully examining where an intruder might have made his or her entry. The fence, about head-level, had been assembled by his own hands, using a large roll of chicken wire that had been collecting dust and spider-webs in the garage, on the stairs right above the ratty rugs that he hadn’t gotten around to cleaning. (Abigail had once presented him with a rug-beater to use on them. His look was such that she half-expected him to use it on her before she managed to scamper away. The rugs remained on their dirty perch.)

He ran his hand lightly over the hairy stems and leaves, inhaling their sharp fragrance. Was such a scent as intoxicating to the thief as it was to him? How could it be? This was the scent of summer, the scent of his childhood. Even in the arid drought of his youth, they managed a few tomatoes. And then a thief would have been unfathomable, or killed on sight. He felt the same today. His age had given him perspective, but his anger had not been dulled.

A few feet down from the scene of the crime, he looked at the pea-like cream-colored flowers dangling from a patch of pole beans, winding around the cross-hatching of the fence. He crouched down on his haunches, furtively peering through the thick wall of leaves. Through dappled pin-holes of light, like keyholes into a garden room, he saw movement on the other side of an enormous stand of squash. Reeling back, he lost his balance and fell on his butt, quickly righting himself with a deft roll to his right. On his feet almost instantly, he caught a flash of dark gray fur, mottled and almost leopard-like, and thought he saw the impossible outstretched web of a featherless wing, before losing his sight in the sun. The faint but powerful beating of displaced air, made by something that couldn’t feasibly be that big, did not betray the location of where what that had been had gone. Grandpa stood there, bewildered, but giddy with the sense of wonder. That the world could still surprise him was of unfathomable solace. He was still here. He was still alive. And the wilderness of that… thing, was all that he had never seen, come into his backyard, come into the end of his days.

He never did catch the culprit that summer, nor were any more tomatoes taken. A few years later he would tell me that story. He didn’t tell anyone then. I remember the stories and whispers that summer of some flying cat creature, a large rodent with wings, some small griffin, but dismissed them as the wild imaginings of kids with an empty summer. My bet was on it being some overgrown bird, or rabies-ridden bat, and it didn’t seem likely the latter was responsible for the tomato theft anyway. For that summer, though, it occupied my Grandfather. We all thought it was the principle of the thing, not realizing he had some something so other-worldly in mind (if that is, in fact, what he saw). And maybe it was just the first sign of his deterioration, insidiously slow at first, then gaining in rapidity, until the end was as unexpected as it was inevitable.

For him, seeing that creature, whatever it had been, was a pact with his remaining days ~ a covenant with the mysteries of the world ~ some rainbow that held the promise that there was always more to know, more to see. In time, he grew thankful for the stolen tomato, and we grew thankful, too. The remaining harvest was rich – bushels of the red fruit, boiled and canned, in sauces and sun-dried sheets – handed out to neighbors, shared with family, or sold to farm-stands. Most of them were enjoyed by the three of us in the simplest of ways: Abigail and Grandpa and I sitting on the porch, cutting up thick juicy slices that didn’t even need the dash of salt that he offered to us but never used himself.

We looked out at the bright garden from the shade of the porch, as tomato juice dripped from our chins. Grandpa, at first so irritable and suspicious, smiled at us a little – the most he ever smiled at anyone – and continued to do so as the season progressed. We would catch him looking up into the sky, thinking he was trying to figure out the weather to come, when all that time he was looking for was what he had only once seen, a clue to the universe, presented as a mystery, possibly conjured by his mind, and powerful regardless. The summer waned, as all summers do, and by the time the first frost wilted the tomato vines Grandpa had already given up on seeing that strange beast again.

Still, I see him there, waiting and watching, as if he was learning to slow the summer, to stop the sudden march of time, to retrieve his lost tomato and reattach it to the barren vine. His hands grew dark in the dirt and in the sun, his lined-face stoic and somehow expectant. The capacity of a human being. The short stay of a summer. The stolen tomato. Everything we did not know then, embraced and gently rocked, like a fever-stricken child, hot and damp and shivering in the night.

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{See also 1:13, 2:13, 3:13, 4:13, & 5:13}

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Behold, The Celadon Poppy

These small-flowered plants grew wild in the backyard of my childhood home. As such, they seemed less interesting than the exotic annuals and perennials in the proper beds, and I took them for granted. Only years later, when I saw them on sale for $15 a plant, did I realize how valued they were in certain areas. (If the common dandelion did not re-seed and come back so prolifically, we’d be paying through the nose for those sunbursts of blooms and jagged leaves.) The common name of the celadon poppy seems to reference the gorgeous bright hue of the matte foliage – with its hints of silver and cooler shades of green. The stems and flower buds are coated in light-colored hairs, lending a textural highlight that offsets the smoothness of the foliage.

As mentioned, the flowers are small, but of the brightest and clearest yellow. Visiting friends often mistook them for buttercups, holding them up to their chins and asking if they liked butter. The plant had its own subtle defenses too, with a sap that ran somewhere between orange and yellow when any of the stems or buds were broken. It stained skin and clothing alike, a warning signal that belied any delicate appearances.

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Twin Swim

A couple of weeks ago we had my niece and nephew over for a pool visit. They’ve come a long way as far as their swim skills go, and with a couple of swimmies on their arms they’re unstoppable (I have it on good authority that ‘swimmies’ is the proper name for those flotation devices). Thinking their aquatic exertions would allow for a nap at 5:30, their Dad let them sleep for an hour or so (against my judgment, but I don’t have kids of my own so it’s not my place to criticize). The fact that the kids were up until midnight made any criticism self-evident and unnecessary anyway.

 

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Chives, Chives, Everywhere Chives

My niece Emi likes to eat chives. She’ll go up to the small group of green stalks, pull one off, and just start chewing it. It’s a little strange, but kids could do far more destructive things, so this seems like a healthy quirk. (She also likes to pull off the flowers of irises, which is less healthy, but I digress…) Because chives are so common and hardy, I’ve never given them the adulation they might deserve, but having recently added them to a number of dishes, it’s worth noting that they can make all the difference in the world. As can be seen here, they’re even pretty in the rain.

The subtle, slightly sweeter hint of onion adds a delicate flavor to many foods, and their bright green color and clean form lends a refreshing pop and pizzazz to otherwise lack-luster presentations. I find it easiest to cut them into the desired length with a pair of scissors (versus a knife and cutting board) – it tends to leave a cleaner cut and results in less bruising. If you’ve ever been daunted by growing your own herbs, or chopping them up, chives are a great way to start.

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Break Free From the Chains

I hold the lock and you hold the key…

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I Begged Him to Save the Babies

Almost every year, a robin finds a way of making a nest and laying eggs near our backyard patio. Usually, Andy manages to catch her before it gets too far, (the one year he didn’t catch her in time, she terrorized us whenever we were within a short radius of her hatchlings). This year, right in the crotch of our weeping cherry (the tree closest to the patio – it actually shades part of it), she constructed a nest before he noticed, and soon enough these eggs were laid. Andy said he had to remove it, but I begged him not to do so. Let’s just wait and see if she’s okay with us, I said.

Up until now, she’s been well-behaved, leaving us to dining and gardening in the nearby vicinity. In fact, the Japanese umbrella pine I just transplanted was right below the nest, and she stayed without a peep as I pried it out of the ground.

We shall see what the arrival of children does to her peaceful disposition. In all that I’ve witnessed thus far in life, that tends to destroy almost all peace.

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