Blog

Almost Waving Good-bye Through This Window

IMG_4642

Go on. Touch it.

Don’t be afraid.

Tap it. Tap the glass.

Knock on the portal in front of you.

Does the light bend at your finger? Do you make a mark in the dust? Do you feel the warmth?

No. I can’t either. I feel only the cold computer screen.

Is anybody there?

Is anybody…

I’VE LEARNED TO SLAM ON THE BRAKE
BEFORE I EVEN TURN THE KEY
BEFORE I MAKE THE MISTAKE
BEFORE I LEAD WITH THE WORST OF ME

GIVE THEM NO REASON TO STARE
NO SLIPPING UP IF YOU SLIP AWAY
SO I GOT NOTHING TO SHARE
NO, I GOT NOTHING TO SAY

STEP OUT, STEP OUT OF THE SUN
IF YOU KEEP GETTING BURNED
STEP OUT, STEP OUT OF THE SUN
BECAUSE YOU’VE LEARNED, BECAUSE YOU’VE LEARNED…

I cannot feel you here. If there was a body, if there was another person, it would not be this cold. Life – real life – is never so sterile, never so silent. That’s why I seek out the quiet, as unnatural and unnerving as it may be for some. The music of life is too much sometimes. All that noise, all that talk, all the words – it all adds up to a mess of nothing.

ON THE OUTSIDE, ALWAYS LOOKING IN
WILL I EVER BE MORE THAN I’VE ALWAYS BEEN?
‘CAUSE I’M TAP, TAP, TAPPING ON THE GLASS
I’M WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW
I TRY TO SPEAK, BUT NOBODY CAN HEAR
SO I WAIT AROUND FOR AN ANSWER TO APPEAR
WHILE I’M WATCH, WATCH, WATCHING PEOPLE PASS
I’M WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW, OH
CAN ANYBODY SEE, IS ANYBODY WAVING BACK AT ME?

WE START WITH STARS IN OUR EYES
WE START BELIEVING THAT WE BELONG
BUT EVERY SUN DOESN’T RISE
AND NO ONE TELLS YOU WHERE YOU WENT WRONG…

Here I sit, writing after midnight ticks past, waiting for revelation, waiting for redemption. I pound the keys and nothing happens. There is no reaction. There is nobody here. I pound harder. My heart beats faster. I pummel the screen and try to break through. I am trying to reach you. I am trying to be heard. Like those dreams where you try so hard to scream but no sound comes out, I feel helpless and small. There is panic in this space. There is desperation. There is loneliness. I wasn’t quite ready to reveal that, but there it is. The truth laid out in the silence.

WHEN YOU’RE FALLING IN A FOREST AND THERE’S NOBODY AROUND
DO YOU EVER REALLY CRASH, OR EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
WHEN YOU’RE FALLING IN A FOREST AND THERE’S NOBODY AROUND
DO YOU EVER REALLY CRASH, OR EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
WHEN YOU’RE FALLING IN A FOREST AND THERE’S NOBODY AROUND
DO YOU EVER REALLY CRASH, OR EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
WHEN YOU’RE FALLING IN A FOREST AND THERE’S NOBODY AROUND
DO YOU EVER REALLY CRASH, OR EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND?
IT’S LIKE I NEVER MADE A SOUND
WILL I EVER MAKE A SOUND?

{One more post before I go…}

Back to Blog
Back to Blog