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Why Don’t You Put Your Thumb Up Your Butt?

Spoiler alert: if you haven’t already seen ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, #1) what the fuck is wrong with you, and #2) proceed with caution as a minor plot-twist is revealed with this post, and it’s my favorite twist in the movie, so go Netflix or stream it or whatever the kids are doing to watch movies these days, then come on back for this one.

Ok, are those culturally-bereft goons gone now? Let’s get on with the brief snippet of profound realization that recently occurred as I was re-watching this 80’s gem. We all see ourselves in certain characters of movies or television shows or theatrical pieces, and that’s how something really resonates with us. Most of the time it helps if those touchstones are with the main protagonist – those are the objects of art that speak to our hearts. Now and then, though, we have to step back and realize we are not always the main character in the story. More of us could use that lesson today, when we all feel we deserve the fucking trophy.

Such was the startling horror that greeted the sudden understanding that in the world of Ferris Bueller, I was not the cool cat known as Mr. Bueller, or the poignant, depressed best friend, or even the down-to-earth glam girlfriend. Oh no. I wasn’t even the scene-stealing Mr. Rooney or his hapless secretary. Nope. In this fictional narrative I was quite clearly, and annoyingly, Ferris’s sister Jeanie. Sure, I get Charlie Sheen’s tongue down my throat before he went batshit crazy and lost all his hotness, but that’s small recompense for such a nasty character.

Thankfully, it’s not entirely without redemption, as Jeanie provides the breath of relief in the climactic tension-ridden scene of whether he gets caught or not, and she turns into the heroine of the whole thing.

I’m still waiting for my heroine moment I guess.

PS – Call me Shawna.

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