‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’
Sometimes I would do best to heed my own words of advice, in this case an ancient adage of how comparing yourself to others robs you of joy and happiness. This has been proven true numerous times, and is in fact one of the tenets of ‘The Science of Well-Being’ course so popular at Yale University. The idea is that whenever we compare ourselves to others, we lose a bit of happiness and joy. There is always going to be somewhere who has more, who is prettier, who is smarter, who is richer, who is luckier, who is fill-in-the-blankier. I forgot that when I posted one of my first Wordle results the other day. I had guess it on the second try, after only getting one correct letter on the first attempt. (If you don’t know Wordle and you like words, look into it – it’s fun, and it only happens once a day so it’s not a huge time hog.) I’d seen others post similar things, and a guess on a second try is always impressive. Yet, what purpose did my posting it serve? The app itself makes it easy, and actually encourages sharing of results. It’s right there when you finish – one simple button to share to FaceBook or Twitter or whatever outlet you deem worthy. And so many of us do share, not always in an effort to impress, but sometimes simply to share. Always, though, it invites comparison, and here’s where I failed.
My intent was to impress, to wow my friends with what was essentially a lucky guess. Taking credit for luck is risky business at best, shady and deceptive at worst. And comparison is, indeed, the thief of joy. That’s a hard practice to overcome as it’s so deeply entrenched in the social media world. It’s why I don’t favor Instagram and FaceBook as much anymore – they are constantly inviting us to compare ourselves with other people and other accounts – accounts with professional people posting professional photos and an advertising agenda that will always make the rest of us commoners feel inadequate or less-than someone else.
I’m good at feeling happiness and joy for people I know well – my friends and family who post their vacations or celebrations or 2/6 Wordles – but it’s all the ‘recommended’ strangers and accounts that portray a perfection of life that is unattainable and unrealistic that get me vexed and bothered. Fortunately, that vexation and annoyance is entirely at my control as I can simply ignore and not scroll down. Such discipline is easier said than done, and often the best way to deal with any envy that results is to remind myself of that introductory mantra: comparison is the thief of joy.
And so I’m working to navigate the online world with better intents and a reminder to enjoy without comparing, to feel inspired without feeling envious, and mostly to get off the damn phone and simply enjoy my own rich and wonderful life.
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