A Few Words on Attending ‘Wicked’

First of all, don’t talk back to the performers just because you’re drunk or high.

Second, don’t get so drunk or high that you have to get up before the third song even begins.

Third, don’t bring a hunter’s knife with you so everyone is afraid to ask you to shut the hell up.

Fourth, don’t sit in the first five rows if you’re allergic to smoke effects. The girl melts. What did you expect?

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