You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast
Oh, so hold on the ones who really care
In the end, they’ll be the only ones there
When you get old, start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Anu summed up our summer weekend reunion perfectly and succinctly, with the poignant realization that we have led a shared tapestry of charmed lives, and all those times when we wondered if we had it together, questioning whether we had found or achieved happiness – they were the moments, they were the charm – right around us, in our hugs, in our reunions, in our holidays, in the children of our lives, in the friends and in the family we’ve become.
The weekend almost didn’t come together at first, my suddenly-poor planning skills failing as the weekend coincided almost precisely with when Mercury entered retrograde motion. It struck Anu and Kristen first, as they ran out of gas shortly after entering the state of New York. How a car runs out of gas in this day and age proved the fuel for an entire weekend of questions and commentary, when talk wasn’t on Costco.
Suzie was the next one almost-felled, as she found her own car in the mechanic’s hands, where the power-steering needed some tinkering. The boys made it in without trauma or set-back – Tommy drove up from NY and Chris flew in from Detroit – and by Friday at midnight we were six once more.
With the happy, lifelong exception of Suzie, I didn’t meet these wonderful people until 1995, but it was as if the universe had saved them for when I needed them the most. The ensuing three decades would bring us through weddings, break-ups, funerals, births, holidays, vacations, and the undulating wear-and-tear of life. I understood what Anu meant – even in our heartache and hurt, we were there for each other, and we’ve always been charmed and lucky in that way.
There is always going to be trauma and drama to overcome in every life – finding the tribe of people who are going to help you through it – and to see you through the humor and happiness in every trying moment – is the simple secret to getting through the wilderness.
Our home glows differently when it is filled with adored guests, and this particular group of people – magical by all accounts – make wherever we may find ourselves at any given moment a home.
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It’s a secret no one knows
It’s a secret no one knows
Oh, no one knows
Our talk topics are a little different these days, but the laughter and the love are the same – and there’s no one else with whom I’d rather navigate this second half of life.
A bonus song dedication to Anu and Tommy.
IYKYK.
See you in November…
