Blog

This recipe popped up on my Instagram feed, or maybe it was FaceBook – what’s the damn difference these days? Big brother is always listening. He hears everything. In about two seconds I’ll get an ad for ‘Big Brother’ if that’s still a television show. Wait and see. Anyway, I digress. (But just in case, Tom Ford Tom Ford Tom Ford…) This is a cookie post, since it’s cookie season, so let’s do this, Cookies. (Try reading the word ‘cookies’ a couple of times and focusing on it – sounds ridiculously weird, right? Any word will do that if you give it enough time.) So many digressions… I wonder why I don’t want to write this post and give you the recipe…

Perhaps it’s because this one was a mixed bag for me. The beginning and end result worked out well enough. These are mint chocolate cookies – bite-sized for easy popping into the mouth – and they have a unique texture of crunch (thanks to the granulated sugar and crushed peppermint candy coating – as well as the weird batter). They taste decent enough too, and I suppose that’s the main goal. It’s just that I had a major issue with the dough once it was refrigerated.

The recipe, as copied exactly from ‘The Incredible Egg’ below, indicated it’s all right to refrigerate the batter overnight. This turned out to be a godsend, as I’d forgotten I had plans one evening just as I was finishing the batter. I covered it and set it in the fridge then went on my merry way. “Chilled dough is easier to handle” they said…

The next morning when I went to assemble the cookies, I could barely cut through the dough. I’m not a weak person. I’ve been doing push-ups. Maybe even a plank or two. But this batter was solid as a rock. Spoons were being bent in service of coaxing some out. I chipped away at it until I had enough to form a ball, and it became slightly more pliable with the heat of my hand, but my God what an ordeal to struggle for each and every cookie, and I was seriously dismayed about what kind of cookie would result from such a mess.

Surprisingly, their consistency changed upon baking. What once was impenetrable suddenly became moist and slightly chewy. What once was hard now was soft, as if these cookies had shot their wad and were languidly drooping like a drained dick. 

After rolling them in sugar and a couple of crushed candy canes, they gained a gleam and crunch that added to their interest, and the final product was a cookie unlike any I’d ever made before. (And I have made at least three different varieties of cookies in the last ten years alone.) As well as they went over, I don’t think I’ll be doing them again. That dough is just too difficult. Nobody has time for a difficult dough. Life is difficult enough; we don’t need the batter to be. But just in case you want to give it a go, because there’s a good chance I did something to fuck it all up, here’s the recipe. 

ELF’S BITE-SIZED CHOCOLATE PEPPERMINT CRINKLES

DIRECTIONS (please note VERBS and ACTION words in bold and capitalized, because this recipe is demanding!)

MIX flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt in large bowl.

BEAT 2 cups sugar, cooled melted chocolate, eggs, oil and peppermint extract in mixer bowl on medium speed until blended. Gradually ADD flour mixture, beating on low speed until blended.

REFRIGERATE, covered, until firm enough to shape, about 1 hour or overnight.

HEAT oven to 350°F. MIX powdered sugar and crushed candy in small bowl. Work with 1/3 of the dough at a time, keeping remaining dough refrigerated. SHAPE dough into 1-inch balls; roll in granulated sugar first and then in crushed candy mixture. PLACE 2 inches apart on parchment paper-lined or ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE in 350°F oven until lightly browned, 8 to 10 minutes. COOL on baking sheets 1 to 2 minutes. REMOVE to wire racks; cool completely.