Back in the days of hosting extravagant parties and wild soirees, I would channel Rosalind Russell in ‘Auntie Mame’ to strike just the right note of eccentric hostess pizzazz to help me get through the damn evening. Now that we no longer have big parties, I get to enjoy smaller and more intimate dinners and gatherings, but I still use Auntie Mame as a starting point of inspiration.
We are about three weeks away from Thanksgiving (yeah, that left a sting thinking about it) and the start of the holiday season, so now is a good time to put a dent in my planning and preparations for whatever the fuck Christmas will be like this year. To that end, an appetizer is a great item to bring to whatever event you may be attending with friends and/or family. Below is a recipe for some appetizer meatballs that might be the easiest cheat recipe that still tastes good. First, a look at the super-secret ingredients that can be found in most decent markets (and every indecent market).
This dish once stood on a corner table, largely neglected by the crowd at our friend Bob’s Night-Before-Thanksgiving party that he used to hold in his place overlooking Washington Park. It was one of my favorite parties of the year, because it signaled the kick-off to the holiday season, and was hosted by one of the kindest and sweetest guys I know. On this particular evening, a crock pot of appetizer-sized meatballs bubbled away quietly, while the rest of the gay men ignored it, beelining for the bar. One gentleman stood nearby as I took one, and then two, and then multiple meatballs, marveling at their flavor.
It was Bob’s Uncle, the man who had made them, and he whispered the recipe in my ear: one part grape jelly, one part chili, and one big package of bite-size frozen meatballs. My mind was blown, that such deliciousness could come form such an unlikely combination. It was one of those recipes that someone clipped from Good Housekeeping or Ladies Home Journal in the 50s or 60’s, then passed down through the generations because it tasted so good, but kept secret because its make-up was so basic. Over the years, I added some additional flavoring to bump things up, but the core remains the same, and the meatballs remain store-bought and frozen, because the flavor is enough to mask any shortcomings there. Try it out and see.
RECIPE: The Holiday Meatballs of Bob’s Uncle
- 1 large package frozen cocktail meatballs
- 1 large container grape jelly
- 1 large can chili (without beans)
- 1/2 cup soy sauce
- 1/2 cup rice wine vinegar
- 1/4 cup white or brown sugar
- 1 Tbsp chopped garlic
Combine ingredients in crock pot and cook on low for six to ten hours, stirring occasionally.
That’s it. That’s all. Auntie Mame would be proud, even if it’s not fishberry jam.
