We close out this first day of autumn with a moody song embodying the arrival of the season. Ella Fitzgerald sings of beautiful heartbreak, and a longing to not have an early autumn ~ and we are powerless to stopping it as it’s already here. Hearing the muse while a sliver of oud emanates from my wrist, I indulge in the beauty of the night.
When an early autumn walks the land and chills the breeze And touches with her hand the summer trees Perhaps you’ll understand what memories I own There’s a dance pavilion in the rain all shuttered down A winding country lane all russet brown A frosty window pane shows me a town grown lonely…
Accustomed to the dark falls and the treacherous emotional terrain that often accompanies the seasons of lesser light, I feel that this is familiar territory. Whether it’s the unrequited infatuations of my youth or more adult-like failed relationships in my 20’s, fall has traditionally been a time of emotional turmoil. In some ways, the spell of such a time is a reminder that we are all still human, still prone to making messy mistakes in service to our wayward hearts.
That spring of ours that started so April-hearted Seemed made for just a boy and girl I never dreamed, did you, any fall could come in view So early, early…
A candle glows gently before a mound of sumptuous sequin brocade. The light is serene, the colors are soft. Would that such pretty things be a balm on thy heart.
Darling, if you care, please, let me know I’ll meet you anywhere, I miss you so Let’s never have to share another early autumn
Instead, it rages quietly. It ravages in silence. It tears down the semblance of an ordered life and wreaks its havoc with nary a ripple of the surface. There, all is pristine and placid. No one wants to know what lurks below.
Darling, if you care, please, let me know I’ll meet you anywhere, I miss you so Let’s never have to share another early autumn Autumn, autumn
A midnight post to ring in the autumn, an amuse-bouche to whet the appetite, and a tantalizing tango to set the scene to all that follows, this is how fall begins on our little blog. Slipping in during the night, autumn is ephemeral as fragrance. Unseen and untouchable, it can only be sensed by the nose – scent its own powerful purveyor of its presence, maker of memories, and lover of lore.
‘La Cumparsita’ translates as ‘little street procession’ and the song is one of the most recognized tangos in the world. It plays a magical part in the queasy New Year’s Eve scene from ‘Sunset Boulevard’ in which Norma Desmond makes her ill-fated romantic play for a much-younger Joe Gillis, only to be met with his cold dismissal. What happens to all the love that goes unreturned? That’s a question this blog has never been able to truly answer.
Suzie and I were browsing at Muji on our recent weekend in Boston (I needed an essential oil for the bedroom diffuser, and they had a lovely rose scent that worked out well) and this song came on ~ one of those moments when it takes a while to place the music and the memory. At first it was disconcerting to hear, as I couldn’t quite figure it out; the memory at fifty is not the same memory and instant-recall of thirty.
As I paused to listen it slowly came back to me, and the vision of Norma Desmond sweeping about the tiled dance-floor as her little band played in the corner materialized in my head. She wanted only to be loved, and it didn’t matter who ~ a paramour, an audience, a pet monkey ~ she wanted only to be loved.
And so we dance, carried on the wings of a swoony fragrance tinged with oud ~ some echo from the past, some ping from the future ~ and a little hint at our fall theme, coming up in the next post…
It seems to be a week for one-named wonders, as this Dazzler of the Day is singer and song-writer Lauv. I heard his song ‘Love U Like That’ at some clothing store in Newton Plaza, and it felt like a good summer-ending vibe. It’s rare for me to jot down lyrics so I don’t forget what to look for (and I don’t have the handy app that hears two beats of a song and instantly identifies it) but I managed to do so and that’s how I came upon Lauv. Check out that song below and the rest of his magnificence at his website here.
In the end – in our ending – it is, it will be, it was – the way before, the way after – a seed of a beginning.
This is the way you left me, I’m not pretending No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending This is the way that we love, like it’s forever Then live the rest of our life, but not together
Wake up in the mornin’, stumble on my life Can’t get no love without sacrifice If anything should happen, I’d guess I wish you well Mmh, a little bit of Heaven, but a little bit of Hell
This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told No hope, or love, or glory, happy ending’s gone forevermore
There’s a party going on in here It’s been happenin’ for many years You weren’t invited and don’t want to stay But keep partying anyway DJ’s playin’ my familiar tune Got them dancin’, shakin’ up the room They hear the beat, but they don’t know the words This is the saddest song I’ve ever heard
If you could look into the future, would ya? If you could see it, would you even want to? I’ve got a feeling that there’s bad news coming But I don’t want to find it out
If it’s the end of the world, let’s party Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party Wrap your arms around, everybody If we’re all gonna die, let’s party Let’s party, let’s party
Who can I blame with everythin’ I’ve done? Is this the price we pay for too much fun? Don’t be misled; it’s not a twist of fate It’s just what happens when you stay out late So raise your glasses, all my kings and queens Smash the chandelier to smithereens Who knew that mercury could rise so fast? Enjoy the party ’cause this is our last
If it’s the end of the world, let’s party Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party Wrap your arms around, everybody If we’re all gonna die, let’s party
If it’s the end of the world, let’s party Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party Wrap your arms around, everybody If we’re all gonna die, let’s party
There’s a party goin’ on in here It’s been happenin’ for many years And even if it all goes bad It was the best time we ever had
A hair-bumped reprieve at that moment when the guests have all gone, the candles have been blown out, and the saddest strings of smoke hang limply in the air.
While it came out eight years ago, this song is the song that Noah has proclaimed the song of the summer, and since Emi chose the theme to begin the season, it seems fitting that Noah should choose the song as we near the end. The visuals from the video perfectly correspond to our Island Summer, even if it’s been somewhat of a dud. Lyrically, I don’t know about this one… scary what the kids are hearing these days, but maybe every fifty-year-old uncle says that when they’ve rounded the mid-section of life and there is more behind them than ahead.
All this jewelry ain’t no use when it’s this dark It’s my favorite part, we see the lights, they got so far It went too fast, we couldn’t reach it with our arms Wrist on a wrist, a link of charms, yeah Laying, we’re still a link apart It’s like we could die here all young Like we could dye hair all blonde If we could see in twenty twin Twice we could see it ’til the end
This summer definitely had a melancholy vibe to it – transitions, transformations, realizations, reconciliations, resignations – and there’s still a few more weeks of it. For one of the few times, I’m not sorry to see it go, and I’ve already been focused on fall because what’s ahead always has the possibility of being better.
Another possibility exists too, I’m aware. We shall see what we shall see.
Suzie recently remarked that I would be good at living a rich life (such as illustrated by this recent Raffles Boston experience) as I’d appreciate all the beauty and opulence of such an existence. I was like, well DUH. Until such time that Andy’s big lottery win comes in, however, I’ll have to find the willpower to live far outside the realm of that opulence. I’ve done it for fifty years, and I can do it for another fifty. Still, let’s manifest that windfall in the likely event that I simply tire out. Happens to the best of us. In the meantime, a fun Sabrina Carpenter bop to ponder:
I like a few of the cuts from Ms. Carpenter’s latest album, and this one reads on so many levels it approaches the brilliance of Madonna’s double-entendre-laced early days.
My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand He fell in love with self-restraint, and now it’s getting out of hand He used to be literally obsessed with me I’m suddenly the least sought-after girl in the land Oh, my man on his willpower is something I don’t under-, something I don’t understand
My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand He fell in love with self-restraint, and now it’s getting out of hand He used to be literally obsessed with me I’m suddenly the least sought-after girl in the land Oh, my man on his willpower is something I don’t under-, something I don’t understand
A time capsule within a time capsule: this entry is from 2005’s Divine Diva Tour, but this song jumps back another decade to 1996, when Suzie and I (and our Moms) found ourselves at the celebrated Broadway revival of ‘Chicago’ featuring Ann Reinking and Bebe Neuwirth. I wore a shirt of silver thread in a leopard pattern, with a long-tailed black tuxedo jacket; Suzie was probably in cargo pants. We took in the phenomenon of classic theatrical showbiz pizzazz, and escaped our college-age concerns with a bit of the old razzle dazzle…
About a decade later, this song formed the backdrop to the photos seen here from The Divine Diva Tour Book: A Fairy’s Tale. A bad wig can work wonders when placed atrociously and artfully enough – in disarray it tells even more sordid tales of debauchery and treachery…
Give ’em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle ’em Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give ’em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather ’em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? What if your hinges all are rusting? What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting? Razzle dazzle ’em And they’ll never catch wise!
Give ’em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle ’em Give ’em a show that’s so splendiferous Row after row will crow vociferous Give ’em the old flim flam flummox Fool and fracture ’em How can they hear the truth above the roar? Throw ’em a fake and a finagle They’ll never know you’re just a bagel Razzle dazzle ’em And they’ll beg you for more!
This September is said to be a banner month for us Virgos, with a couple of eclipses and favorable moons, and whether or not I believe in such astrological magic, I’ll welcome whatever positive transformation this month has in store for me. The past few months have been rough and tumble here, and for the first time in a long while I was beginning to think that maybe I was the problem – and I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge my failings and shortcomings, but this summer I’m not taking any of the blame. Let the hits keep on coming, because we all know only the truth stands in the end. Virgos always have the receipts; contrary to popular belief, we don’t always like having to search them out and prove others wrong but when one is attacked, that sort of defense is sometimes necessary. Let’s have a song to clear the air and wash away any lingering doubt that hell hath no fury like a Virgo wronged.
You talk about life, you talk about death And everything in between Like it’s nothing and the words are easy
You talk about me, you talk about you And everything I do Like it’s somethin’ that needs repeating
I don’t need an alibi Or for you to realize The things we left unsaid Are only taking space up in our heads
Make it my fault, win the game Point the finger, place the blame And curse me up and down Doesn’t matter now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall is the time when I tend to clean up the messes that I let go in summer – and there are several family items that float to the top of that clean-up list, if only to let things go and truly move forward. That means a weighty therapy session this week which might result in additional therapy sessions, and that’s ok. Therapy has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve had in navigating this treacherous mid-life region. I recommend it to everyone.
The first two weeks turn into ten I hold my breath and wonder when it’ll happen It doesn’t really matter
If half of what you said is true And half of what I didn’t do could be different Would it make you better?
If we forget the things we know Would we have somewhere to go? The only way is down I can see that now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall will also likely be the time when things are brought into unflinching and unforgiving light – and it’s not going to be cruel or cutting, it’s not going to be hurtful or hateful – it’s going to be honest and true. Like the song says, this is not about emotion – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned being raised by two scientifically-minded medical people, it’s how to be cooly analytical when it comes to making your way through this mad world. My Virgo nature lapped that up, and for fifty years I’ve run with it.
It’s really not such a sacrifice
Perhaps those first fifty years were the practice run-through, and we are beginning all over again now – and now is when it counts. Now is when it matters. And if I don’t care…
If I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
And it don’t have to make no sense to you at all ‘Cause this is my interpretation.
Take flight, my fine fairy friends, and let us again be carefree, without worry or concern, riding on the winds of fantasy and make-believe… Goodbye cruel world! Farewell wicked place!! Adieu, adieu… to you and you and you…
Rush me ghost you see Every centre my home Fever steam girl Throb the oceans Your candy perfume girl You’re a candy perfume girl You’re a candy perfume girl
From the same wondrous ‘Our Time in Eden’ album that brought us the glory of ‘These Days’ comes the other hit single from that collection, ‘Candy Everybody Wants’. It forms the penultimate entry of this section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, in which everything that seemed so sweet and lovely reveals a sickly, bloody underbelly. The scarlet lollipop melts into hemoglobin, the bracelets of candy bind your wrists together, and a necklace of Necco wafers works its ancient Latin language, choking you out with a death-clutch. And all the while, we eat it up. Try one, swallow some…
The music bounces along happily, the bursts of horns, the jangling guitars, the occasional ‘Hey!’s of Natalie Merchant – and it sounds for a moment like everything is gonna be all right. But it isn’t, is it? It will never be right again, and that’s one of the underlying themes of melancholy that pulls this song down from its lofty pop perch.
So their eyes are growing hazy Cos they wanna turn it on So their minds are soft and lazy, well Hey hey give ’em what they want
Ahh Candice… haven’t we all been you before? Most of us get it out of the way in our youth when we stand a chance of getting away with it. During the time of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, I was well beyond my Candice era, but the scars were still with me, and the damages we inflict upon ourselves will never be topped by anyone else.
A deceptively sweet turn in The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale arrives in this delicious post, in which I implore you to try some… eat one… you know you want to lick it…
I know a guy who’s tough but sweet He’s so fine, he can’t be beat He’s got everything that I desire Sets the summer sun on fire I want candy… I want candy
Our tour book is about to take its irrevocable plummet, but the first part of the slide down is so sweet and sugary, you let it all happen because it tastes so good, even when you know it’s bad for you…
Go to see him when the sun goes down Ain’t no finer boy in town You’re my guy, you’re what the doctor ordered So sweet, you make my mouth water I want candy… I want candy… Yeah!
Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better But I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater Some day soon, I’ll make you mine Then I’ll have candy all the time I want candy I want candy I want candy…
