Category Archives: Music

This is My Interpretation

This September is said to be a banner month for us Virgos, with a couple of eclipses and favorable moons, and whether or not I believe in such astrological magic, I’ll welcome whatever positive transformation this month has in store for me. The past few months have been rough and tumble here, and for the first time in a long while I was beginning to think that maybe I was the problem – and I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge my failings and shortcomings, but this summer I’m not taking any of the blame. Let the hits keep on coming, because we all know only the truth stands in the end. Virgos always have the receipts; contrary to popular belief, we don’t always like having to search them out and prove others wrong but when one is attacked, that sort of defense is sometimes necessary. Let’s have a song to clear the air and wash away any lingering doubt that hell hath no fury like a Virgo wronged.

You talk about life, you talk about death
And everything in between
Like it’s nothing and the words are easy

You talk about me, you talk about you
And everything I do
Like it’s somethin’ that needs repeating

I don’t need an alibi
Or for you to realize
The things we left unsaid
Are only taking space up in our heads

A pre-peek of fall has been revealing itself in the wonderfully color nights and mornings we’ve had of late. It’s good for clearing the head, and the atmosphere. Things are getting clearer, and more crisp. Shades of gray and spaces of questionable shadows are fleshing themselves more fully out, with defined edges and sharp boundaries. A happier place for Virgos who cherish clarity.

Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
And curse me up and down
Doesn’t matter now

‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

Fall is the time when I tend to clean up the messes that I let go in summer – and there are several family items that float to the top of that clean-up list, if only to let things go and truly move forward. That means a weighty therapy session this week which might result in additional therapy sessions, and that’s ok. Therapy has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve had in navigating this treacherous mid-life region. I recommend it to everyone.

The first two weeks turn into ten
I hold my breath and wonder when it’ll happen
It doesn’t really matter

If half of what you said is true
And half of what I didn’t do could be different
Would it make you better?

If we forget the things we know
Would we have somewhere to go?
The only way is down
I can see that now

‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

Fall will also likely be the time when things are brought into unflinching and unforgiving light – and it’s not going to be cruel or cutting, it’s not going to be hurtful or hateful – it’s going to be honest and true. Like the song says, this is not about emotion – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned being raised by two scientifically-minded medical people, it’s how to be cooly analytical when it comes to making your way through this mad world. My Virgo nature lapped that up, and for fifty years I’ve run with it.

It’s really not such a sacrifice

Perhaps those first fifty years were the practice run-through, and we are beginning all over again now – and now is when it counts. Now is when it matters. And if I don’t care…

If I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

And it don’t have to make no sense to you at all
‘Cause this is my interpretation.

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Candy Perfume Boy

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I will turn a blind eye or two and get on with the facade.

There is no more to be done here.

My attempts at reform were small and unimportant, and to survive sometimes one must leave the realm of reality and return to a delusional happiness. This has been my struggle and now it is over.

Take flight, my fine fairy friends, and let us again be carefree, without worry or concern, riding on the winds of fantasy and make-believe… Goodbye cruel world! Farewell wicked place!! Adieu, adieu… to you and you and you…

Young velvet porcelain boy
Devour me when you’re with me
Blue wish window seas
Speak delicious fires
I’m your candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl

Moist warm desire
Fly-to-me
I’m your candy perfume girl
Your candy perfume girl

I’m your candy perfume girl
Candy
Candy…

Rush me ghost you see
Every centre my home
Fever steam girl
Throb the oceans
Your candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl

Did I lie to you?
Candy perfume girl
Did I lie to you?
Magic poison

You’re a candy perfume boy
A candy perfume boy
You’re a candy perfume boy
You’re candy

Candy perfume girl
The sacred nerve is
Magic poison
It’s candy, it’s candy
I’m your candy perfume girl
I’m your candy perfume girl

Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy
Candy…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
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Candy Everybody Wants

Hey, hey give ’em what they want…

From the same wondrous ‘Our Time in Eden’ album that brought us the glory of ‘These Days’ comes the other hit single from that collection, ‘Candy Everybody Wants’. It forms the penultimate entry of this section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, in which everything that seemed so sweet and lovely reveals a sickly, bloody underbelly. The scarlet lollipop melts into hemoglobin, the bracelets of candy bind your wrists together, and a necklace of Necco wafers works its ancient Latin language, choking you out with a death-clutch. And all the while, we eat it up. Try one, swallow some…

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want
Hey hey give ’em what they want

The music bounces along happily, the bursts of horns, the jangling guitars, the occasional ‘Hey!’s of Natalie Merchant – and it sounds for a moment like everything is gonna be all right. But it isn’t, is it? It will never be right again, and that’s one of the underlying themes of melancholy that pulls this song down from its lofty pop perch.

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well
Hey hey give ’em what they want

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well
Who do you wanna blame?

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well

Who do you wanna blame?

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
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She’s Made of Candy

I was there to witness, Candice’s inner business

She wants the boys to notice her rainbows and her ponies

She was educated, but could not count to ten

Now she got lots of different horses by lots of different men…

Ahh Candice… haven’t we all been you before? Most of us get it out of the way in our youth when we stand a chance of getting away with it. During the time of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, I was well beyond my Candice era, but the scars were still with me, and the damages we inflict upon ourselves will never be topped by anyone else.

And I say, “Liberate your sons and daughters”

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

You can get some, when they give it

Nothing sacred, but it’s a living

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too high or a little too low

Got no self-esteem and vertigo, ’cause she thinks she’s made of candy

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too loud or a little too close

Has got a hurricane at the back of her throat, she thinks she’s made of candy

Ring a ring of roses, whoever gets the closest

She comes and she goes as the War of the Roses

Mother was a victim, father beat the system

By moving bricks to Brixton and learning, how to fix them

Liberate your sons and daughters

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

“As you will” shall be the whole of the law

And if it don’t feel good what are you doing it for?

Now tell me…

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too high or a little too low

Got no self-esteem and vertigo, ’cause she thinks she’s made of candy

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too loud or a little too close

Got a hurricane at the back of her throat and she thinks she’s made of candy

Liberate your sons and daughters

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

“As you will” shall be the whole of the law

And if it don’t feel good what are you doing it for?

What are you doing it for? What are you doing it for?

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One and Part Two.
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Ropes of Sugar, Bracelets of Candy

There are many types of ropes in this wayward world.

Ropes of pearls.

Ropes of words.

Ropes of ends.

Ropes of ambivalence

Tripping up on a rope is better than choking on one.

Tightrope walking is not better than being tied up.

The double entendres mask the sinister turns ahead.

Sex and danger, lust and mistrust, sweetness and poison.

The rope unwinds, the rope hardens, the rope enters, and the rope drops the curtain.

I said sucking too hard on your lollipop
Hey, love’s gonna get you down
Girl, I said sucking too hard on your lollipop
Hey, love’s gonna get you down

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

Aural candy sings sweetness in the ears, swallow it down for the sweetness to swim into the stomach, and finish it off with a lick of a lollipop…

I went walking with my momma one day
When she warned me what people say
“Live your life until love is found
‘Cause love’s gonna get you down”

Take a look at the girl next door
She’s a player and a downright bore
Jesus loves her, she wants more
Oh, bad girls get you down

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

When it sounds so good and tastes so sweet, there’s nowhere to go but down.

Mama told me what I should know
“Too much candy gonna rot your soul
If she loves you let her go
‘Cause love only gets you down”

Take a look at a boy like me
Never stood on my own two feet
Now I’m blue as I can be
Oh, love come get me down

Sing it!

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One.
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Who Wants Candy?

A deceptively sweet turn in The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale arrives in this delicious post, in which I implore you to try some… eat one… you know you want to lick it…

I know a guy who’s tough but sweet
He’s so fine, he can’t be beat
He’s got everything that I desire
Sets the summer sun on fire
I want candy… I want candy

Our tour book is about to take its irrevocable plummet, but the first part of the slide down is so sweet and sugary, you let it all happen because it tastes so good, even when you know it’s bad for you…

Go to see him when the sun goes down
Ain’t no finer boy in town
You’re my guy, you’re what the doctor ordered
So sweet, you make my mouth water
I want candy… I want candy… Yeah!

Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better
But I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater
Some day soon, I’ll make you mine
Then I’ll have candy all the time
I want candy
I want candy
I want candy…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.

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If I Could Turn Back Time

Way back in the late summer of 1989, when I had but just turned fourteen years old, Cher was riding high on one of her many comebacks – ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ – and even at my young age, my old soul felt resonance with this track. At my more advanced age, it rings differently, and no less powerfully.

Back in 1989, it was more of a wish to go back in time just a couple of months, to the start of the summer – the summer before high school, when everything would change.

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you
And you’d stay

I don’t know why I did the things I did
I don’t know why I said the things I said
Pride’s like a knife, it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes

I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t wanna see you go
I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay
If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do
(If I could turn back time)

Cher’s video for this single caused an uproar worthy of Madonna’s typical fare at the time. (See ‘Like A Prayer‘ or ‘Express Yourself’.) I happened to love it – the outfit, the big-ass boat canons, and the sailors – all those excited sailors… I’d lose my gay virginity to a sailor many years later on the Mississippi River, but that’s a story that doesn’t need to be retold right now.

My world was shattered, I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
When you walked out that door, I swore that I didn’t care
But I lost every thing, darlin’, then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and darlin’

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay
If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do, ohh

If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time, oh, baby

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Beaded Beauty with a Touch of Tragedy

Glamour, grit, genius, and grace are sometimes not enough to stop the tragedy that an artist will occasionally bring upon themselves. We court extremes – love and hate, happiness and sorrow, life and death – and there is little room for calm when there is no peaceful midpoint.

Easy living? The stuff of dreams…

Living for you is easy living
It’s easy to live when you’re in love
And I’m so in love
There’s nothing in life but you

I never regret the years I’m giving
They’re easy to give when you’re in love
I’m happy to do whatever I do for you

For you, maybe I’m a fool
But it’s fun
People say you rule me with one
Wave of your hand
Darling, it’s grand
They just don’t understand

Living for you is easy living
It’s easy to live when you’re in love
And I’m so in love
There’s nothing in life but you

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bugle Bead Beauty: Part One.
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Bugle Beads, But Alive

Careening toward the darker final section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, this entry finds a brief respite of glamour and sparkle, courtesy of bugle beads and sequins, and a backing track from the musical ‘Applause!’ Hit it…

I feel groggy and weary and tragic
Punchy and bleary and fresh out of magic
But alive, but alive, but alive!

I feel twitchy and bitchy and manic
Calm and collected and choking with panic
But alive, but alive, but alive!

I’m a thousand different people
Every single one is real
I’ve a million different feelings
OK, but at least I feel!

And I feel rotten, yet covered with roses
Younger than springtime and older than Moses
Frisky as a lamb…

And I feel wicked and wacky and mellow
Firm as Gibraltar and shaky as Jello
But alive, but alive, but alive!

I feel half Tijuana, half Boston
Partly Jane Fonda and partly Jane Austen
But alive, that’s the thing! But alive!

This kaleidoscope of feelings
Whirls around inside my brain
I admit I’m slightly cuckoo
But it’s dull to be too sane!

And I feel brilliant and brash and bombastic
Limp as a puppet and simply fantastic
But alive, but alive, but alive!

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
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The Showgirl Must Go On

I’m not at all mad about the fact that the release of a new Taylor Swift album has become the world-shaking event that a new Madonna album used to be. Considering that Taylor has released about four albums – one a full-on double – in the time since Madonna’s last album, along with several re-recorded Taylor’s Version reprises, she earns the accolades. On October 3, the next era of Ms. Swift begins, with the release of ‘The Life of a Showgirl’. I’m already hooked, thanks to its fertile visual possibilities, the orange and turquoise aesthetic, and the glitzy promise of some Max Martin bangers.

While we eagerly await the first single and whatever musical breadcrumbs she will be dropping for us to follow, here’s a list of some previous notable blog posts featuring Ms. Swift:

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No Woman, No Cry

One of the great summer songs that has dominated many a sunny season for me is ‘No Woman, No Cry’. Aside from its unheralded and likely-unintended reading as a gay male anthem (no woman, no cry – get it?) it carries the great message that “everything’s gonna be all right” like a meditative mantra – the ideal attitude for such troubling times. My friend Chris introduced me to this one in the summer of 1997, when neither of us had a woman or a real reason to cry, but it didn’t stop us from feeling all the things a 22-year-old could feel.

Looking back, I realize how lucky we were, and what a quaint time it was – not only in our specific lives, but in the world as a whole. We had only just begun exploring and living on our own – everything felt so much more profound and powerful than it would ever feel again. Thankfully, part of me knew that, and I understood on some level that those days would become the best days as life advanced and responsibilities shifted.

Our island summer is quickly dwindling – the first week of August has already come and gone – and the days are only growing shorter. (We recently passed the last day that the sun will set after 8 PM – that won’t happen again until next May – a depressingly long time from now.) I don’t want to use the ‘F’ word, but fall is indeed right around the corner. For now, let’s slow things down as much as we can. The weather looks to be hot and sunny in the days ahead – I will take that as my cue to continue the idea and attitude of island living, and remain remote and distant from all the real cares of the world. There will be time enough to address them when the wind changes…

Good friends we have,
Good friends we’ve lost along the way
In this great future, you can’t forget your past
So dry your tears, I say…

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Jim Verraros Gets Explicit

Expanding upon the musical renaissance that began with ‘Take My Bow’, Jim Verraros releases an EP of new music that fans have been salivating for since ‘Take My Bow’ and ‘Pyramid‘ brought him so spectacularly back to the musical scene. ‘Explicit’ looks to skyrocket on that cheeky dance-floor trajectory, with a few sizzling remixes, as well as several brand new songs. As Verraros continues to edge us with these glorious drip-release burners, the hope for a full-length album still burns brightly – for now, ‘Explicit’ gives us fans something substantial to swallow until that dream comes to fruition.

{Check out Jim’s website here for all the latest news on ‘Explicit’.}

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I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty

The most hilarious entry of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale is at hand – at least the most hilarious in my estimation – and it comes just when we need to laugh. You may have found humor in other entries, but this one speaks hilarity and social commentary on a multitude of levels. It was my tribute to the frazzled homemaker trope, a role I’d semi-jokingly taken on with a previous boyfriend, and one that I tried to imbue with comical accents. So much of what I did back then was lugubriously earnest – this was a silly breath of fresh air, and a totally different type of diva.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright,
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.

Take note of the ironing accoutrements on hand: the standard bottle of Niagara spray starch for authenticity. The can of Coors Light in the starch cap cozy. The bottle of Alize for class. And the crock of Cool Whip and bag of potato chips for the munchies.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming,
It’s alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real.

Then there’s the intentionally-awful underwear in need of ironing.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there,
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

Let’s not get into the hair, the shower cap, and the outfit…

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running
and dancing
For joy,
For I’m loved by a pretty wonderful boy!

And let’s definitely leave that make-up alone… for good and forever.

This is divinity of a different order: the divinity of laughter and ridiculousness.

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
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Shedding Selves in the Bonfire of Summer

A preamble to the next section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, this may be a wild and wandering post that reeks of vanity and self-indulgence, making it perfectly apt for this particular project. Twenty years ago, that was certainly one of the stages I was at, and thirty years ago I was even further back on that stage, preening and posing for an audience that was both never really there, and somehow watching from afar.

There was a time
When I was so broken-hearted
Luck wasn’t much of a friend of mine
The tables have turned, yeah
‘Cause me and them ways have parted
That kind of love was the killin’ kind

Way back in the summer of 1993, Aerosmith released the song and video for ‘Crying’, which is probably my favorite Aerosmith tune (making me decidedly not one of their truer fans) and definitely my favorite Aerosmith video. In it, a pre-Cher-Clueless Alicia Silverstone and pre-stardom Stephen Dorff acted out the torturous tale of young love gone wrong.

While I was still involved in an innocent dating situation with a female friend (ahh, those 90’s) and had never had quite the dramatic rollercoaster those characters were on, there was something sillier and much smaller in the video that called to me from a deeper and more profound plane. At about the 2:25 mark, after her car breaks down, our heroine doffs the very 90’s floral dress she had on and changes into jeans and a white tank. It’s a quick and minor point, but it had a powerful effect on me.

So listen
All I want is someone I can’t resist
I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed

That was what I wanted to achieve in my life: transformation. I wanted to shift images like a chameleon, changing into one creature from another, and always keeping the watchers guessing. Refusing to be pigeonholed into one definitive image or style, I would strive to shed my various selves with fashion, clothing, cologne, and creation – ever-evolving and never-stagnant. If I was unrecognizable from one look to the other, all the better. Mercurial and slippery – like its quicksilver namesake – I found it safer to hide behind a multitude of masks and poses, keeping the element of surprise as my chosen weapon. It would be impossible to pin me down – and if you can’t stop someone long enough to get a good shot in, you’re never quite able to capture – or kill – them. If Alicia Silverstone could get her heart stomped on at the start of her Hollywood reign, how the hell would I stand a chance?

I was cryin’ when I met you
Now I’m tryin’ to forget you
Love is sweet misery
I was cryin’ just to get you
Now I’m dyin’ ’cause I let you
Do what you do down on me, yeah!

Now there’s not even breathing room
Between pleasure and pain
Yeah, you cry when we’re making love
Must be one and the same

I started simply enough, in mimicking fashion, bringing a change of clothes on every car ride I made in the event that I had cause to slip from some stuffy school outfit into something more casual. In the summer, it was a change of necessity, as I unbuttoned a stiff dress shirt and opened the windows to let the breeze surround me in an undershirt. In later years, I’d bring a change of clothes to work when I was going out to dinner, switching into something fanciful and extravagant from the dull trappings of J. Crew office attire.

It’s down on me
Yeah, I got to tell you one thing
That’s been on my mind, girl, I gotta say
We’re partners in crime
You got that certain somethin’
What you give to me takes my breath away

I would craft images to match whatever project I was releasing: a Ralph Lauren ‘Safari’-scented romantic look with black vests and frilly white poet sleeves for a ‘Love’ project ~ a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and bulky booted trade ensemble for the ‘diSenchAntMent’ work ~ or a frilly, feathery, boudoir-appropriate robe for the Divine Diva project you may reference below. All of it was in service to shedding my various selves and finding out what was underneath all the layers. I hid and obscured as much as I aimed to reveal, digging deeper in an insane attempt to get out of the hole I was making. I wish I’d seen and understood that earlier, but such was the journey I had to take.

Now the word out on the street
Is the devil’s in your kiss
If our love goes up in flames
It’s a fire I can’t resist

These days, I don’t dive so deeply into my creative pursuits. I’ve learned to create a healthy distance from whatever project I’m exploring to the person I am in real life, easily separating whatever artistic flights I might fancy from my family and friends and husband. There is a definitive delineation that allows me to explore different themes here, in writing and photos, without danger of slipping into a persona that isn’t aligned with who I intrinsically am – even if facets do overlap and dovetail. Whenever something makes me uncomfortable, that’s a sign it’s something I need to explore.

‘Cause what you got inside
Ain’t where your love should stay
Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain’t love
‘Til you give your heart away

Which brings us to the present moment, and this look-back at The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale. It was at that time when I remember just starting to see and sense that separation between artist and artistic output, just beginning to feel the safety of that demarcation and distance. The ensuing two decades have shown that I still have much to learn, and that the work is something that never ends – not that I would ever want it to reach some sort of conclusion: the lovely and infuriating conundrum of learning that there will only ever be more to learn keeps me keen and eager for what’s next and what’s new.

The following step of 2005’s Divine Diva journey arrives with the next installment of this project, which ricochets from the feminine stylings of the previous entry to the more masculine stylings of our next entry… stay tuned.

I was cryin’ when I met you
Now I’m tryin’ to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin’ just to get you
Now I’m dyin’ to let you
Do what you do, what you do down to
No, no, baby, baby, baby

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
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I Remember This Too

While it was Mom who brought me to my first concert (Peter, Paul & Mary) it was my friend Ann who took me to my first rock concert – and it was an initiation by brilliant fire: Guns ‘N Roses at Saratoga Performing Arts Center right between their ‘Appetite For Destruction’ and ‘Use Your Illusion’ albums. In other words, it was lightning in a bottle (and in the liner notes for one of the ‘Illusion’ albums the band thanked the SPAC audience which was part of one of the cuts). It was an epic show, one that I heard perfectly fine even through the cotton I’d shoved in my ears (just in case). In reality, the volume was easy managed by the scrappy teenager I was; I’d been throttling Madonna at the same decibels for years. While I enjoyed the performance, it was the time with friends that mattered the most, and I still remember the carefree fun and abandon I felt as we roamed the grassy realm of SPAC without parents.

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I’d think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew that you were there for me
Time after time you there for me

For that show, the opening band was Skid Row – they were just becoming big too, and a few years later we would see them headline their own tour. Ann was with me for that one as well – she adored Sebastian Bach. That particular show was memorable for the full-frontal flashing he did (right while I was in the bathroom, thank you Sebastian), and I remember Autumn’s parents driving us there on some crazy summer night.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand, I remember you
Through the sleepless nights through every endless day
I’d want to hear you say, I remember you

Ann has been of my mind lately, as have a few of my friends that go way back – perhaps it’s the slow-roll to fifty that we are all on right now. She is visiting next weekend with Missy, and the three of us always have a fun time reminiscing and picking up right where we left off – as if no time had passed and we were still in high school, laughing life off. Things are different now, and life has worn all of us down, so I think we are looking for relief and rejuvenation in our friendship. There is something incredibly soothing for the soul when you surround yourself with safe people who have known you at your worst and still can’t help but love you.

We spent the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I’d give my life for just one kiss
I’d live for your smile and die for your kiss

We spent our summers more carelessly back when we were young, free from all responsibility and worry, back when kids – even teenagers – could just be kids and not work or do something constructive at all hours of the day. It was a time to simply be, and I’m forever grateful that we had that. It made us aware that such peace existed, that living could be slowing down to sleep in, stay out late, and turn the music up so loud it shook the house. We were luckier than we realized then, and I’m glad to realize it again now.

I’m looking forward to seeing my friends again.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand, I remember you
Through the sleepless nights through every endless day
I’d want to hear you say, I remember you

We’ve had our share of hard times
But that’s the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you’ll never be lonely

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