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Flames of a Feather

Fridays feel better in the fall – perhaps it’s a residual relief from years of being back at school at this time of the year. For this Friday, we’re offering some frilly feathers in keeping with the fiery theme of flames, and they align beautifully with the fabulous fable spun in the fantastic musical ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ (sadly his name didn’t start with an ‘F’, thus ending our little alliteration moment). In the fantastical opening number, our protagonist dreams of a better place than the classroom in which his teenage-self is stuck. 

There’s a clock on the wall and it’s moving too slow

It’s got hours to kill and a lifetime to go

And I’m holding my breath ’til I hear the last bell

Then I’m coming out hard and I’m giving ’em hell

I’m a superstar and you don’t even know it

In a wonder bra and you don’t even know it

You’re so “blah blah” and you don’t even know it

I’m like, “au revoir” and you don’t even know it

To a certain extent, life is all about finding out how to turn feathers into fire while making them fly. When you’re just a kid in school, it’s hard to find the fire or the feathers, and even if they’re at your disposable, a kid doesn’t usually know how to use them. It’s hard enough to ignite the passion and strength to go through an average day as an adult – when the weight of the current world rests on a kid, it must feel overwhelming

There’s a path I’ve planned (And you don’t even know it)

To the promised land (And you don’t even know it)

You won’t understand (And you don’t even know it)

Cos you’re my backing band (And you don’t even know it)

Whenever I think back to my days in grade school, it is usually fraught with the anxiety and dread that being in school and around other kids always produced. Once comfortable with a group, I could relax and shine, but there was so much work and energy required to get through the nerve-wracking first few days that the trauma would linger and be inextricably wound into any enjoyment I might have found. When you’re a kid, life should be mostly about that joy. 

I’ve got the dreams, I’ve got the style

I’ve got the moves to make you smile

So kiss my ass goodbye

‘Cause I’m gonna be the one

Instead of finding joy in the present moment, I began to craft a world in my imagination, a world that could be fully accessed from anywhere at any time, but only reaching its fullest form when I could be alone, in solitude, conjuring scenes of fantasy and play and beauty. On my walks home from school I would inhabit this secret world, which was more exciting and grand and dramatic than the boring trappings of school and the dull doings of my classmates. 

You’re in my lane, you’re in my light

Get out my way, I’m taking flight

And I ain’t coming back

‘Cause I’m gonna kiss the sun!

For my entire schooling stretch, even into college, I would maintain this secret world. Though I made some decent strides to integrate the imaginary dreams and wishes into the mundane reality in which I so often found myself, I wouldn’t fully merge the two until I was well into adulthood. Some days it’s still a struggle, and on those days I put on a song like this and feel the inspiration to be my authentic and genuine self for all the word to see. Dragging it into the brutal light of day, and allowing all the plumage and fire and majesty to assert itself, I listen to the music, do a little twirl, and make my merry way. In defiance there is power. In self-proclaimed majesty there is might. In the imagined world of a scared kid, there is a way out. 

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