Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Me to the co-worker who instantly started engaging me first thing in the morning: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start a conversation.”

#TinyThreads

Resting bitch face?

Please.

As long as I’m awake my game is fully active.

It’s called work ethic.

#TinyThreads

Something that continues to challenge me: gauging the number of napkins I’ll need for a take-out order. Woefully under or over, never a happy median.

#TinyThreads

The ‘S’ is for Super

And the ‘U’ is for Unique

The ‘P’ is for Perfection cause you know that we are freaks

The ‘E’ is for Exotic

And the ‘R’ is for Raps

So tell those nosy people just to stay the hell back!

#Supersonic

#TinyThreads

Scene of the next generation: parents driving their kids to the bus-stop and waiting with them. This is our state of the world thanks to murderers, child molesters and territorial turkeys. We are fucked.

#TinyThreads

Someone please explain the following saying to me: I can’t win for losing.

I mean, duh. Isn’t that the whole point? What am I missing?

#TinyThreads

Me: “I can fight! I’m scrappy.”

Co-worker: “You threw your back out taking a picture of a flower.”

#TinyThreads

Some concepts are better left as concepts.

Case in point: avocado fries.

#TinyThreads

Ah, the unicorn.

Mythical beast after my own heart.

And the rainbow.

Peace.

#TinyThreads

The world would be vastly improved if we still taught children how to write a proper letter, and how to wait for a response.

#TinyThreads

Phone calls are like meetings: largely unnecessary and better managed with an e-mail.

#TinyThreads

Where is my spoonful of sugar for the medicine of life being doled out each day?

While quite intent in my pursuit, I need a merry tune to toot.

#TinyThreads

The only thing worse than a party guest who arrives extremely late is a party guest who arrives in any way early. 

#TinyThreads