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I’m Giving It Away For Free

You are not going to believe what I am offering up for one lucky recipient in the Boston area: an absolutely FREE television set. It’s like practically new (circa 1990), has an immense screen (maybe 25″ and dwarfed only by its enormous bulky back), makes almost a stand-alone piece of furniture (it weighs a ton), and is yours for the taking (from my second floor condo in Boston, with no help from me because my back won’t tolerate it). Now, this is a one-time deal so you have to let me know if you want it – first come, first served. And remember – it’s 100% FREE. This is a steal. You would be robbing me blind with my hands tied. (Though the kinky will cost quite a bit more.) Contact me to set up a pick-up time for this once-in-a-lifetime deal! You will be nothing but disappointed!!
 
(Seriously, I don’t how to get rid of this thing. I’ve looked into donating, but no one wants to take it. I’m perilously close to illegally dumping it with a big ‘FREE’ sign on it, but always hated seeing that sort of thing on the street.)
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