Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Dismissive?

Moi?

I always confuse the milquetoast with the milquetoast.

#TinyThreads

There are those days when the text exchanges with my besties run the gamut from death and cemeteries to couches and ejaculate, sometimes without any gentle or lubed transition.

TinyThreads

A cracked or broken straw can be absolutely ruinous.

#TinyThreads

Gaslighting is telling me that some salad recipe will take ten minutes to make, when everyone knows it’s going to take me ten minutes to find and chop half a red onion that is only one of the twelve ingredients in the thing.

#TinyThreads

People will sometimes get upset with you when you’re wrong, but they will get absolutely livid when you’re right.

#TinyThreads

Two words: Presidential immunity.

LOL 4-ever.

#TinyThreads

There are some people who don’t like bread pudding even though they have never tried it.

To trick a person into eating bread pudding, just call it ‘Deconstructed French Toast‘. Watch them eat it, love it, and never know what happened.

#TinyThreads

A message of value, especially to the kids: maintaining your integrity is always the coolest thing to do, even, and especially, when it feels at odds with everyone around you.

#TinyThreads

It might surprise most people to know how easy I am to get along with on most days.

LOL, just kidding – I’m a Power Virgo and do not fuck with me.

#TinyThreads

I’ve already seen Halloween decor at some stores and it’s not ok.

Stop rushing us all into fall – it only just turned summer.

Think of the children. Think of the teachers. Think of the fucking weather.

#TinyThreads

Once upon a time I would have totally rocked a labubu.

#TinyThreads

One of the things I miss most about winter is the garage doubling as a fridge. Now it just doubles as an ineffective oven that never quite reaches the required temperature.

#TinyThreads

Mint-scented urinal cakes?

Not sure how I feel about that.

Better than bubblegum I suppose.

#TinyThreads