Category Archives: Tiny Threads

I simply cannot wait for the new Madonna album.

That’s all. 

#TinyThreads

After years of confusion, anger, and disappointment, I’ve finally come to the realization that I’m one of those unfortunate people with whom the universe just wants to fuck. Four out of five times that I go to Starbucks, the half-and-half container is empty when I get to it.

#TinyThreads

In my mind, adding a small piece of melon to a pound of prosciutto makes it a healthy snack.

#BeHealthy

#TinyThreads

People who whistle at work don’t have enough work to do.

#TinyThreads

Why is it so difficult to find a simple salad dressing container that doesn’t leak?

#TinyThreads

Is announcing the length of the next commercial the new thing? I’ve seen on several channels now an announcement of exactly how many seconds are left until the show returns. I find it helpful, but also surprising. I never knew how much I could get done in 90 seconds – piss-pot stop, hand-washing, pouring a cup of tea, slicing an apple, and running upstairs to find a coat for work the next day – all in a single commercial break. The 30-second ones are slightly more limiting…

#TinyThreads

Every letter matters, even the skinny ones.

Sending me a document wherein you leave out the ‘L’ in the word ‘public’ is problematic in a work setting.

#TinyThreads

‘Spring is in the air’ is just another way of saying ‘Love is in the air.’

I’m not sorry that it is so.

#TinyThreads

Spouses who work together: how? Why?

#TinyThreads

It always feels wrong to listen to ‘Manic Monday’ on any day other than Monday.

But every day is right to ‘Walk Like An Egyptian.’

[Cue the whistling part.]

Strike a pose on a Cadillac.

#TinyThreads

‘Be My Baby’ – used in more movie set-up montages than any other song in recent memory. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why… do fools fall in love with fools like you?

“We’ll make them turn their heads everywhere we go…”

#TinyThreads

This may be an unpopular stance, but I am NOT here for a Britney Spears Broadway musical.

#TinyThreads

My PSA for the Day: if you’re an allergy-sufferer like myself, it’s almost time for the seasonal shift to begin wreaking its havoc. To give myself a fighting chance against the pollen storms, I start my allergy pill routine now, to build up as much resistance as I can before the big pile-on of allergens. Just a little hint that has worked out well in the past. If you wait until the first time you feel a sneeze attack coming on, it’s probably too late. Nothing worse than playing catch-up in the spring. 

Call me fucking Heloise. 

#TinyThreads

A fitting ornamental accompaniment to an itinerary for a trip to Savannah is a watercolor peach blossom. Georgia peaches, y’all.

#TinyThreads

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Is this even remotely true?

#TinyThreads