Category Archives: General

We need a little break in the solemn Christmas processional and the unrelenting march to this most sacred Christian tradition. We need a little air and space in the claustrophobic rush and cramped crush of the season. Most of all, we need a little Christmas cheek to counteract all the seriousness of the world at the moment. And that is something I can provide – perhaps the only thing I can provide these days – so let me turn on my cheeky charm, turn around and pose by the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, and post a Christmas bop by the Jackson Five. 

Levity and brevity – that’s the aim for what remains of our holiday season. Whether that’s in clothing or gatherings or just making it through the damn day. Drop the seat, kick the beat, all-you-can-eat. ‘Tis the damn season. Make it merry.

Someone posted this cute illustration on one of the social media sites this week, and it was perfect for the Winter Solstice, when the time is ripe for warmth and comfort and cuteness. Staving off the winter is best done through such sentiments, no matter how the weather rages or the wind burns. It brings to mind scenes of forest coziness, tales from childhood of animals that find their own homes and havens in the branches and boughs of crowded pines, or in the underground labyrinth of leaves and roots, where warmth is generated far beneath the fall of snow. Such scenes, in such close proximity to the wilds of winter, feel especially cozy because of their very nearness to the brutality of the season. 

Nestling into the start of winter, we look to the stars for guidance, for hope, for the reminder that our closest star will begin her glorious ascent to the height of summer starting now. 

Today marks the Winter Solstice, and from this day forward the days get longer and lighter until summer arrives. While the first day of winter may not feel like cause for celebration, that fact alone makes this day one of hope and majesty. It begins here – and if winter never started it would never finish.

Last winter passed in peaceful form thanks to a newly-found focus on hygge, and the continuing quest for meditative peace and calm. Through the process comes the result, and to trust in that journey is to be made happy in the moment – even if the moment comes on the first day of winter, with all the days yet to follow. 

There is magic to the winter as well, something I ignored and dismissed for most of my life, so chagrined with the weather and darkness that I failed to see all the lights that we make at this time of the year. Candles and lamps and fairy lights all conspire to lift the darkness, even at its heaviest and most impenetrable. The glow of a single candle is enough to fell a roomful of shadow. And when taken outside into a night filled with snow, it can feel like one is carrying a small sun in their hand. 

On this day, we make our winter wishes – writing them down and signaling to the universe our intents and hopes, before burning them and letting them drift into the sky to be carried off to where they might begin their work. It is our seasonal tradition, one taught to me by Andy when we first met, and the winter wishes were always some of the most important ones made. Especially this year, when we need all the help we can get. 

The shortest day of light is here, and moving forward each day from this point the light will last a little longer. Winter has just begun, but this is a journey that has been in motion since the arrival of fall. Rounding that corner brings us further along than we realize, and seasons move so quickly these days it’s only a matter of moments before talk of spring is in the air. 

If everyone had just worn their masks and gotten vaccinated when it mattered, we wouldn’t be where we are today, so to anyone who hesitated and who still refuses to get a vaccine or wear a mask, I have a simple message and request: fuck off. Just fuck all the way off. The rest of us are sick of you for being so selfish and stupid. 

I was in Wal-Mart the other day looking for Tang (and Wal-Mart is the only place that carries it, not any Price Chopper or Market 32 or whatever you’re calling yourselves these days) when I watched a young woman hurriedly grab two masks from the supply at the front door. She put one on herself, then brought one to her husband or boyfriend, who said he was not putting that thing on. Their child, clearly under five years old, sat in the shopping cart watching their exchange. I walked away at his second refusal before I was tempted to say what I thought out loud. 

In Starbucks, I watched as a group of three girls ranging from twelve to seventeen approach the cashier without a single mask among the three of them. Their Dad followed a few minutes later, also without a mask. 

At a time of the year when we are supposed to be looking out for each other more than usual, I just feel utterly let down and disappointed in people. 

On the other hand, the vast majority of those actually dying of COVID are the unvaccinated assholes who refuse to get the vaccine (and no doubt who also refuse to wear a mask). Maybe the universe is weeding them out in some massive exhibition of karmic retribution. Survival of the smartest, the sanest, and the most compassionate. 

{Shrugs.}

This is the week Christmas arrives, ready or not, and it’s tainted with the worries that the current condition of the world brings. I realize I can’t keep stressing out over things beyond my control, but that doesn’t mitigate the worry much. Perhaps that’s one of the tenets of adulthood, and why I’ve so vociferously avoided it for as long as possible. Let’s have a look back at those holiday moments where we trie to find some joy and peace.

The musical woman of the year celebrated her special day – Happy Birthday Taylor Swift!

Crafting a bit of Christmas calm through the use of candles (carefully). 

Sometimes snow calls for jazz. 

A mysterious holiday tea recipe revealed again. 

Holiday cocktails & mocktails. 

Channeling Christmas calm. 

With a hush and a wink, I sang my little heart out. 

When Andy’s favorite holiday movies became mine. 

For the love of Andy’s meatballs. 

This years holiday stroll was actually postponed, so this revisiting of previous strolls will have to suffice. 

Justifying my love for Madonna amid all the hateful bashing. 

An old-fashioned Christmas mix tape, like we used to do. 

Piano tinkling for a Christmas quandary. 

The unconventional Christmas song. 

Dazzlers of the Day included Jake Wesley Rogers and Colin Donnell. 

Unlike a hurricane, there is no calm center to the holiday maelstrom of mayhem that will only build and build until the explosive climax of Christmas comes in less than ten days. With that in mind, this morning begins with the soft light of a candle, and the quiet melody of seasonal songs given a delicate piano make-over. 

Next week marks the winter solstice – as far from summer as we can get on the calendar, and as far from light. Dipping into the shortest days of the year is often trying, but soon the daylight will elongate, adding seconds of sun into each day, slowly building and brightening. I hold that thought and the hope that comes with it. 

To alleviate the darkness, we will have Christmas, and candlelight, and the calm that can be conjured when we are reminded of the stillness that is always there, apparent only when we sit quietly with ourselves and our thoughts. 

Rollicking boisterously toward Christmas Day at break-neck speed, we need to coax the brakes on this Polar Express before it goes entirely off the rails. The best way to do that is through some simple meditation, for as long as one wishes, and taken every day to form a single thread of consistency when everything else is a jumble of holiday excrement/excitement. 

So much of Christmas is loud and brash and overbearing – it’s colorful in that way, a cause for joy and celebration, with its underlying current of goodness and hope and the birth of a baby who will, legend has it, save the world. We want to believe in all of it – in the best of people, in the spirit of the season, and in the goodness that comes out but once a year.

Those are quite a lot of expectations, and partly why I have always found the season confoundingly filled with pressure and difficulty. We’re all supposed to be happy and succumb to the Christmas spirit, even when it’s at odds with the reality of the world around us. Even when we know what the real meaning of the season is, even when the spiritual lessons of the Christmas story are made as manifest as they will ever be, I still don’t think we can fully get beyond the buoying bombast that goes along with it. 

When that happens, and I feel myself getting lost to the hubbub and hoopla, I withdraw a bit, going back to the winter nights of my childhood when winter magic felt real, and the scent of pine trees in the woods behind my childhood home was on the wind. 

These days, that sort of belief is hard to find, but at this time of the year we may come closest to discovering it again. In the light of a candle, I envision those walks in the woods before or during a meditation. It lends life something grounding when everything else is hellbent on getting a rise out of me. 

Here we are, already mid-December, and recapping a full week of holiday mayhem. My favorite holiday movie – ‘The Man Who Came to Dinner‘ – has already aired once on TCM, and will repeat a couple more times before the big day. For now, let’s indulge in our weekly look-back before getting through another week of holiday adventures. Keeping the usual traditions and rituals going through this season is one way of anchoring us amid all the joyous tumult. Hang on to your hats…

The week began with a sail among the evergreen boughs.

A white rose blooms in Boston still.

Boston holiday beckoning.

Christmas citrus.

Cooking for a Cathedral Christmas. 

Music for an almost-winter night.

A Christmas fern, finally coming into its own at the right time of year. 

Snow, come slowly.

Snow, take two.

Hello Mr. Perfectly Fine.

Tropical interlude.

Confusing temperatures and climate.

The Holiday Card 2021, one low on hype and fanfare, but heavy on slumber. 

Winter slumber wonderland.

There was but one Dazzler of the Day this week, and it was Michael Buble. 

Christmastime is almost here, hence this musical accompaniment to see us into a mid-December weekend. The holidays are in full-effect, and December has already clicked into the double digits, so it’s coming on quicker than we might like. To slow things down a bit, here’s a glorious bit of slow jazz, courtesy of the great Vince Guaraldi. His music for Charlie Brown is a Christmas staple – a classic that gets better with each passing year – something that can’t be said for all of us. Take a list on this Friday afternoon/evening and indulge in something relaxing.

Here are a few snow photos from a recent snowfall that was more pretty than annoying, which is the best way snow can behave. Nestled in the uplifted little arms of a juniper, it makes a beautiful blanket, transforming the gray and brown landscape into the stuff of wonderland. 

Not a bad look for a Friday before Christmas, when the hustle and bustle threaten to overtake the true meaning of the season. It’s a time for quiet and peace, to reconnect to what the story of Christmas originally told. 

This fall season has been rather benevolent, and after our rain-drenched summer it was much-deserved and very welcome. Our snowfall has also been gentle and pretty, with a couple of one to two inch non-events that lent a day or two of prettiness to the world while not mucking up anyone’s drive. May that be the way winter goes.

The first snowfalls are always celebrated and photographed, much like the first flowers of spring. Distance indeed lends enchantment, and being away from the winter magic makes it feel new again. When it combines with the fallen scarlet leaves of a Japanese maple, the effect is even more wondrous.

By March, this sort of snow will have lost all its appeal and beauty, and we’ll be cussing it out as much as we are praising it now. That’s the folly of being human – one of the many follies to which we are prey.

There is far too much comparing and contrasting, and that takes away the simple joy and wonder of a moment, such as a snowfall. The first is no less or more beautiful than the last.

I will try to remember that with each snowfall this coming year.

This is the first year I’ve seen the Christmas fern live up to its name. I was visiting my parents in Amsterdam, and while taking a walk in the backyard I come upon this specimen waving from the edge of the woods. It didn’t dawn on me until hours later that it was already December, and this little fern was still gloriously green, extending the last vestiges of greenery into the holiday season. 

It will stick it out in mostly evergreen fashion, though if the fronds get too ragged it won’t hurt to snip them off come spring, when a fresh crop with spring forth from the center of the plant. For now, it’s a very beautiful trooper, and it will stand like this through the first few snowfalls, lending an enchantment to the crux of fall and winter. 

Here we are already sailing into high holiday season, with most of the first week of December done, and Christmas activities getting into full swing. Time moves swiftly now as we careen to the end of the year, and so I’m seeking out quieter moments, and lengthier times of calm to reconnect with the true spirit of the season. At least once a day now, I try to step outside into the cold air, if only for a few moments standing outside the front door, to simply breathe in and out a few cycles of almost-winter weather. On with this respite of a recap, where we may find a few moments of peace and stillness.

We left November quietly behind.

This was the tightest I’ve ever been.

Enter the holly and the ivy.

Evergreen reminders.

My life often revolves around tablescapes.

Andy refines a family recipe.

Two queens in a king-sized bed.

Carrying a Christmas torch song. 

The new Tom Ford Private Blend is absolutely exquisite.

Spending a very good day with Dad.

Dazzlers of the Day included Kal Penn, Ana Gasteyer, Drew Barrymore, and Ashley Day.

The advent of the winter season is almost upon us, embodied by the pinecones dangling from a neighbor’s evergreen. Happily, this scene doesn’t so much remind me of the coming winter, but rather the coming spring. When Andy and I first looked at our home, it was around March, at the very end of winter. Some snow was still on the ground, but as we toured the backyard in the dark of an early evening, we saw the pool, and this evergreen rose dimly behind it. 

We see the tree at all times of the year, but it’s most prevalent in the summer, when we are out and about in the backyard. Throughout the winter, we watch it from the windows, waiting for spring to give a hint of itself in an early thaw or a wayward warm breeze. When I see it now, it gives me a little bit of hope, reminding me of that first spring when a new house started to take shape as a new home. 

It was a question I pondered myself right before I posted it on Twitter: which to have in the days following Thanksgiving – a cold turkey sandwich with mayonnaise or a hot turkey sandwich with gravy? On that particular day-after-Thanksgiving, I opted for both, but I wanted to see how other people felt, so I threw the poll up on Twitter. (I’m mostly on Twitter these days, so follow me there. Fuck Facebook and screw Instagram, Twitter is about all I can emotionally handle right now.) The results are below, and I’ve never had a poll break this indecisively. We are indeed a world divided, even when it comes to leftovers.