Dazzler of the Day: Darryl McGrath

Standing in line for an herbal peppermint tea, I listened as the woman ahead of me told the brief and fascinating story of her book ‘The Message Catcher‘ and how it was a fictionalized journey of her life journey. She turned to me and smiled, inviting me to stop by her table, where several copies of ‘The Message Catcher’ were on display, right beneath a framed rendering of a crow.

Too shy to approach (and by the time I was leaving she was already engaged with someone else), I instead looked her up online and discovered her intriguing body of written work and a tragic and inspiring personal trajectory. Her name is Darryl McGrath, and she lost her husband a number of years ago while on vacation in Cape Cod. He saved her life and lost his – the kind of tragedy that transforms a person irrevocably, and to the benefit of her readers McGrath turned her experience into meaningful artistic expression while navigating her own arc of loss and healing.

The most dazzling people I’ve featured here aren’t usually the superhuman Olympians, the sports stars, the perfect models or the sparkling celebrities – they are the humans who have gone through the adversity of life, rising from tragedy and finding other ways to triumph, ways to find grace in the often-awful hand that life deals out. To that beautiful end, Darryl McGrath is our Dazzler of the Day.

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Is it too much to ask to have a sun room in which to grow some citrus trees? I don’t even need the fruit – just the flowers would be enough.

This is me, manifesting

#TinyThreads

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Both Sides Garbage

One of the media’s worst betrayals of its own merit and existence has been to frame everything as having two valid sides. In the name of supposed ‘fairness’ in reporting, they frame all issues as if there are at least two valid sides and points of views rather than taking any basic moral stance that once actually informed the reporting of newscasters like Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather.

To that end, I have a list of topics that are not ‘both sides’ issues, and which I will always call out as morally reprehensible. If you are ok with any of these, if you think that a stance in favor of them is worthy of consideration, or if you are in any way impeding the application of justice against them, I don’t want to know you.

Racism.

Homophobia.

Sexism.

Bigotry.

Pedophilia.

Fascism.

These are non-negotiable. There is no other side to them. If you believe it’s ok for anything of these things to exist, and for people to spew support of them, you are a part of the problem. I’m not having it here, I’m not having it on my social media feeds, and I’m not having it in my life.

Stop giving the space and allowance for this kind of hatred and these kinds of monstrosities to flourish.

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Dazzler of the Day: Matt Ortile

Another wonderful person of many hats, Matt Ortile is editor, writer, host, and educator. He gained early experience as the global publishing lead for BuzzFeed International and was the founding editor of BuzzFeed Philippines. His writing has been published by Vogue, Esquire, Afar, TripAdvisor, BuzzFeed News, Into, Self, and Out, and he has written a book of essays entitled ‘The Groom Will Keep His Name’. A more comprehensive list of accomplishments may be found at his website here, and he can add Dazzler of the Day to the ever-growing list of honors.

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Whenever I find myself in doubt, I remember these wise words from a drag queen, maybe the greatest drag queen of all: “Don’t write a check with your mouth that your ass can’t cash!”

Sit with it for a while.

#TinyThreads

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The Mask of an Idea

What if all the anti-ICE citizens started dressing up in cosplay nonsense like the actual ICE agents terrorizing our country – the masks and flags and sunglasses and shit? It seems like people who wear that wardrobe can get away with murder – quite literally – so imagine what people on the right side of history might accomplish in similar garb.

We may very well be far past the point of vigilante justice, and I am certainly not proposing any dangerous ideas that might turn their strategies against them, especially in the minds of anyone feeling frustrated and angry at a world with seemingly no accountability for evil actions. How awful that would be! To incite something so violent that it might one day merit a Presidential pardon is practically unthinkable, right?

There is sometimes no greater threat to oppression than an idea, and as long as the mind is free, the ideas will follow.

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Dazzler of the Day: Thoren ‘Thor’ Bradley

Sometimes the strongest and most powerful voices come from the prettiest packages – and when that happens it often results in the crowning of a new Dazzler of the Day. Introducing the amazing Thoren ‘Thor’ Bradley, who has gained a prominent and substantial social media thanks to his combination of fitness, wood-chopping, intelligent discourse, and inclusive championing for all people. A recent post of his particularly moved me, especially in light of the boorish and barbaric behavior of the US Men’s Hockey Team. When white cis men who look like Bradley speak truth about and against centuries of patriarchy, it’s a huge help. Glad there are noble humans still out there to restore a little faith in humanity. For that reason alone, he earns his first Dazzler of the Day.

“My heart goes out to all the daughters, wives and girlfriends in the United State…who have faced the harsh realization that a man in their life is so spineless in the face of clear injustice… that they can’t even form a fucking opinion in private. I’m not even talking about speaking out in public. I know he’ll never have your respect again and I know that must be a lonely feeling. Rest assured you are not wrong. That isn’t normal.” – Thoren Bradley

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Anyone else find yourself microwaving the whipped butter after forgetting to take it out of the fridge the night before?

Then that hot, gooey hole in the middle…

#TinyThreads

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Manifesting Mercurial Madness

Mercury returns to wretched retrograde motion today, where it will wreak its undeniable havoc all the way through March 20 – the ultimate uphill battle until we reach the spring (as if the final stretch of winter wasn’t and enough on its own).

There’s also a treacherous full moon appearing March 3 – one said to be especially challenging for Virgos, so if I seem a bit more psychotic than usual, the best thing to do will be to not fuck with me. Forewarned is fair-warned, and I’m not in the mood – because a double-whammy of full moon madness and Mercury in retrograde can make for a diabolical, combustible bit of destruction – a burn-it-all-down possibility on a good week, an absolute monstrosity at such an astrological crux. The intersection of Mercurial influence and lunacy was never going to be pretty. In the words of ‘Mommie Dearest’, “Don’t fuck with me fellas!”

Godspeed, good luck, and don’t forget me when I’m gone.

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Archived Obscura of Winter

Somewhere on this website, if you dig down deeply enough, you may find the rest of this photoshoot which reveals more of what certain eyes want to feast upon. For now, it’s a hazy reminder of past and present colliding, and instead of clarity or certainty, there is only more obscurity – a telltale sign of this Winter Obscura – ever-elusive, ever-cloudy, ever-out-of-focus. For all these Evers, never resolution, never completion, never conclusion. Only more Evers… ever after, ever unknown, ever unending…

Chaos contained – a theme that once saved my ass in a literature class where we had to write a paper on Kant, and I could only understand the idea of a canvass containing both the limits of its space, and the limitless idea of anything being painted on it. Two opposing ideas existing at once, forcing the brain to reconcile itself to paradox. Accepting the impossible – at least the impossibility to understand – is a major component of finding peace in one’s head.

Sometimes, I can’t see the canvass through the chaos, cannot find the organization or sense in the madness. And sometimes we have to be ok with existing in that chaos.

Winter was when this picture was taken. Winter – when the world tries to tell us to slow down, to stop, to listen, but we don’t want to listen. We don’t want to stop. We don’t even want to slow down.

That is madness.

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

A country with an actual king is doing more for accountability than our so-called democracy.

On March 28, let’s show the world that we are better than this – that’s the next No Kings rally, taking place throughout the country.

#NoKings

#TinyThreads

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A Tranquil Tea Morning

It’s a lot.

This world right now is a lot.

Humans weren’t designed to have this level of constant stress and duress thrust upon us.

Take this moment as a moment to pause.

To rest.

To relax.

To breathe.

Sounds simplistic and silly sometimes, but just stay with me.

Take a deep breath in…

slowly let that breath out….

Take another slowly in…

let that one slowly out…

Feel the pause.

Feel the slightest reset.

Feel the little difference that makes all the difference.

Pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee or water or juice and hold the cup in your hand. Let yourself simply be with that single motion. Let yourself simply exist. It sounds so easy, but when done with genuine mindfulness it is powerful and profound and life-changing. It will allow you to focus on the breathing, shutting out the noise, the anger, the annoyance. It will push out the worries and strains and tensions. In their place there will be stillness and quiet and calm.

Thank you for sharing this cup of tea with me.

Thank you for visiting this space.

Thank you for sharing our time on this beautiful earth together.

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Dazzler of the Day: Davey Wavey

I love a hairpin turn in one’s career trajectory, and no one has zigged harder of late than Davey Wavey, who went from his popular YouTube and social media impresario role (and some incendiary adult entertainment work) to owning the Frog Meadow Bed & Breakfast in Vermont. Innkeepers Jeremiah and Zac will run the property, but Davey’s hands are already all over the place. The relaxed drama-free atmosphere that has made Frog Meadow such a beloved destination for many years doesn’t look to end, and Davey promises the heart and soul of what is considered sacred space to many will remain untouched and unchanged.

Maintaining and building on the vision of original founders Scott Heller and Dave King, Davey intends to honor the legacy of what they created: a place for the soul to be nurtured. In looking ahead, he also plans on working on the singular item of most interest and obsession for me: a signature fragrance. To that end, and the future of Frog Meadow, Davey earns this Dazzler of the Day for the very first time.

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Tie-dye and a pony tail.

How do you think I feel about this?

#TinyThreads

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The Next F.A.F.O. Award: Wayne DeMario

He supported and rooted for Trump every time he ran, and now his life-partner is slated for deportation. Meet Wayne DeMario, a Miami guitar store owner who proudly voted for Trump, only to see Trump enact the acts he said would enact, including the deportation of immigrants who committed crimes. Enter Wayne’s life-partner Yamile Alcantu, who was here from Cuba via a Visa Lottery (slightly different from how Melania Trump immigrated to America) but who had a “minor run-in” with the law. [Whoopsie daisy!] End result: Alcantu was taken by ICE to a detention center and is currently scheduled to be deported.

Wayne claims he didn’t vote for any of this, he only voted Republican because he was a Republican. (Sure Jan. ) To Wayne and his life-partner, I offer my most heartfelt shrug. Think of this as a kind of ‘both sides’ sort of compassion, offering the same sympathy that the MAGA crowd offers innocent people being deported. If you have a problem with that schadenfreude, talk to the White House and the guy who thinks he’s President.

FAFO – The First Award

FAFO – The Police Union

FAFO – The Free Press

FAFO – The Kansas City Chiefs

FAFO – The Medicaid Recipients

FAFO – The Measles Victims 

FAFO – The Whiskey by Jack

FAFO – The Economy Voters

FAFO – Trump Voter Cynthia & Her Family

FAFO – Janet Correa

FAFO – Chris Landry

FAFO: MAGA

FAFO: Elise Stefanik

FAFO: Peace Voters

FAFO: 2nd Amendment Voters

FAFO: These 7 House Democrats

FAFO: Jill Zarin

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