At this turn of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, we dive deeper into the darkness, featuring the first hints of the old ultra violence, and a nightmarish in-and-out of reality. The tortures we inflict upon ourselves when we choose the way of art, the transformations in which we indulge when fueling our creative fire – these are the demons that start rearing their heads as we encroach upon the final harrowing stretch of this fairy’s journey.
Back when I did this project in 2005, the demons that swirled in my head were largely of my own making, and as such entirely manageable and easy manipulated. This was all creative play. True, it had its roots in real trauma and buried memories, but I wasn’t quite ready to give real voice or expression to any of that without a proper mask or veil. These characters stood in for the real me, and in some aspects they took the blows of the real world.
While I can see that now, with the 20/20 hindsight of twenty years of lived experience, back then I don’t think I did. At that time it all felt real, and it all felt terrifying. What a luxurious stance of privilege and power, even if I didn’t realize it.
Because of that, posting this project now feels slightly quaint and innocent, which takes away from some of the drama and trauma that informed it. Distance does lend enchantment, and blunts the sharpest edges. And though there was no real danger of being cut then, somehow I still have scars.
The murkiness is the true terror – the not knowing what might have happened, the possibility of blocking it all out; there may not have been anything of danger or harm in the pool of inky water that blocks all light, but the idea of not seeing the safety is enough to remove it. And a child devoid of safety or security is a child deprived of love.
“Style is a shield; style is a sword; style is a crown; and style is also an automatic invitation card to the party at the end of the world.” ~ Quentin Crisp
~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~
- Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
- Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
- A Purple-Hued Interlude
- Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- A Blue-Hued Interlude
- Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
- Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
- Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Milky Interlude
- Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
- A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
- Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
- Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
- Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
- Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- Wigging Out Interlude
- Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
- Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
- Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
