Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Overheard recently, perhaps out of my own mouth:

“You don’t have to ask us to forget what you just said. It’s the damn default.”

That there are still people who like me in this world is a minor miracle.

#TinyThreads

I need to get back into crocheting again – not for lifelong blankets, but for things to wear – sweaters and speedos – shit like that. Then I can turn this into a crochet blog – lots of hooks to bring people in… oh go groan somewhere else.

#TinyThreads

Sometimes savoring selfishness is just basic fucking survival.

Go feral in 2026. I sure as fuck am…

#TinyThreads

My friend Chris is correct: the mid-length black puffer coat is depressingly ubiquitous. He didn’t put it quite that way, but that’s why I’m here.

#TinyThreads

I am my own private clown, able to crack myself up while sitting alone in a cafe. Self-entertainment, something I perfected as a child enamored of solitude, is the surest path to an enjoyable life. 

#TinyThreads

The universe fucks us over by so often making the loudest people also the dumbest.

{See MAGA.}

#TinyThreads

This seems to be a cardinal rule of most cafes and coffeeshops: if the decaf coffee isn’t already made, they will forget to make it.

Decaf drinkers get treated differently.

Not saying it’s intentional.

Not saying it’s not.

#TinyThreads

My social media advertising algorithm knows precisely what I want, but until it figures out how not to display those items that have already been sold out, I won’t be clicking on any of the suggestions.

Can’t take anymore of that heartbreak. 

#TinyThreads

The Christmas spirit has found me and it’s like someone inseminated my ass with good will and Christmas cheer! 

Merry, merry, not contrary…

#TinyThreads

How did we ever derive ‘Peggy’ from the name ‘Margaret’? And who would want to be called ‘Peggy’?

Though I suppose there are those who love getting pegged…

My mind is a terrifying place to be sometimes.

Most times.

#TinyThreads

As I was relieving myself the other day, I thought of a possible title for an autobiography: “Pissing on Shirttails.”

Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

#TinyThreads

Christmas Eve calls for sequins.

This is basic stuff.

I said what I said.

#TinyThreads

When a Virgo stops caring… I’d say watch out, but it will probably be too late.

It’s frigid beneath that shadow.

#TinyThreads

Whenever I feel annoyed or agitated by someone – and it probably happens as much as you might expect – I try to think of them smiling and laughing in a moment of unguarded, unbridled joy and happiness – and it instantly arrests the next step to anger.

A good trick to employ during the holiday season.

Or any season actually.

#TinyThreads