Category Archives: Family

I had already shared billing with my husband, but the notion of sharing a holiday card with a baby – much less two – was once as incomprehensible as wearing white after Labor Day. But that’s how things like ‘Winter white’ get invented, and how I ended up in this photo pulling my niece and nephew along in a Radio Flyer. None-too-subtly hyped up as ‘My Most Shocking Holiday Card Ever’ it was a rare moment when the hoopla lived up to its promise, as jaws dropped around mailboxes across the country.

Well, a different kind of pool – this one in the cellar. Neither my nephew, nor I, know the specific rules of the game, but we both like the way the balls sound when they’re clicking each other on the pool table. Of course, I prefer that he keep the balls actually on the table, and that he rolls them rather than throwing them, but he got the hang of it soon enough. One day he’ll teach me the real way to play, because right now I can’t be bothered. Besides, his way is far more fun.

This is my nephew Noah helping me decide what to wear for tonight’s gala. Sometimes it’s good to get a child’s perspective on questionable accessories. Just to clarify, I did not instigate this playing-with-pearls moment – they were sitting on the table when he happened to stop by for a visit, and like all things that I forget to put away when the kids come over, he made a beeline for what was not supposed to be touched. I believe he was trying to tell me to tone down the number of pearls I was going to wear.

After giving it some thought, I had to admit the kid was right. From the mouths of babes.

Additional clarification: I did not encourage him to put them on either. You can’t stop a kid from being fabulous if that’s what he wants to do. (Besides, he took them off after a minute, so clearly he didn’t find them as fabulous as I would have. He much preferred rolling (and throwing) the balls violently on (and off) the pool table.)

Staring out at the pouring rain from the living room of my parents house, I pause in the playful revelry with my niece and nephew. They join me at the window, watching as the drops plop into the puddles. On this house-bound day (no Radio Flyer ride around the block), there is comfort inside the house, on the carpeted floor and blanket-strewn couch, in the warmth of a tuna casserole for lunch.

They’re growing up quickly – already talking and saying things that are both wise and silly, touching and funny – and I want to still time, to reverse the falling rain or at least slow the descent of the season. I only see them about once a month, and I realize it’s not enough.

When I first met my Uncle Roberto, I was already about ten years old. He had been in the Philippines and Israel for all my life, but from that first snowy day in December I was instantly enamored. We only got to see him once or twice a year, and for that reason our time together was all the more special. In its rarity was a treat, in his absence was a longing. I’m hoping to strike some sort of balance, to be as beloved, if more present.

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.  ~ Clara Ortega

This Saturday I’m making a quick trip to Boston with my brother. (Let it sink in.) I honestly can’t recall the last time we traveled anywhere together, so I’m very much looking forward to that, because traveling with my brother reminds me of cherished childhood moments – weddings and such – when we stuck together in the face of family strife and drama, even when we were the cause of said strife and drama. Things are decidedly changed now, and we can co-exist as adults who don’t always agree, but can manage a happy tolerance of each other, amid the knowledge that we’ll always be brothers, and no one else on this earth knows exactly what the other went through as a kid. Not even Suzie or Andy will ever know what my brother and I shared – and I imagine it’s the same for many siblings – especially those who only have one other. That’s what strikes me most when I watch my niece and nephew together – and one day I’ll have a heart-to-heart on what it all means. Perhaps they’ll have some word of wisdom for us.