Willie Nelson gets some help from Orville Peck on this rendition of ‘Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other’ which was originally written by Ned Sublette way back in 1981 (yeah, this cowboy was alive then by a few years). It gained notoriety when Willie Nelson first covered it in 2006, followed by this duet with Orville Peck in 2024. Today it finds a proper place in the pantheon of cowboy songs we’re enjoying for the fall of 2026. A good song transcends time, bringing the listener along for every iteration and every generation. This one sets up the juxtaposition of the country western motif with the existence of gay cowboys – because when my biased mind used to think of cowboys, it hasn’t always been with the open acceptance we’ve been attributing to them here. My cowboy world is strikingly different from reality in so many elements, and it posits a new view and a new characterization, based on previous pockets of defiance, which is the very essence of a true cowboy.
Well, there’s many a strange impulse out on the plains of West Texas
There’s many a young boy who feels things he can’t comprehend
And a small town don’t like it when somebody falls between the sexes
No, a small town don’t like it when a cowboy has feelings for men
And I believe to my soul that inside every man there’s the feminine
And inside every lady there’s a deep manly voice, loud and clear
And a cowboy may brag about things that he’s done with his women
But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer
While the cowboy world of the Old West may at first glance seem inhospitable and impossible for a gay cowboy to make his way, there is a hidden history of people who had been ostracized as different who lived as they were – people of color seeking to escape social exclusion of other areas (particularly after the Civil War – and it’s notable that around that time one in four cowboys was black or Latino), trans people who sought the freedom of the frontier communities (as seen in Peter Boag’s book ‘Re-Dressing America’s Frontier Past’) and cowboys who lived together, forming bonds of family and friendship and sometimes even love. The latter weren’t using ‘gay’ to describe their lifestyle or their actions – as action was it was all about. Many considered the act of two men living together and getting it on just that: an action not indicative of any defined sexuality. It was a way of living that lacked labels and somehow allowed for greater difference than the boxes we want to assign people today. Not that there’s anything wrong with labels or letters or anything that helps people understand each other better.
Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other
What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?
There’s many a cowboy who don’t understand
The way that he feels for his brother
And inside every cowboy, there’s a lady that’d love to slip out
I find it fascinating that so many so-called ‘fringe’ elements of society came together under the cowboy guise, and then were buried under years of white-washing and homophobic history-revision. We were there, we were part of that world, yet the rest of society has worked to erase us from that space. A true cowboy is welcoming and open to all people, largely living to let live, and not bothering with what people wanted to do at the end of the day. That’s my definition of a cowboy. It’s also the driving impetus of this fall, and if it turns the Old West on its head, maybe it’s time for a different sort of revision – one that puts the diversity and open-minded acceptance of a dream utopia back into the cowboy realm where it’s always belonged.
And there’s always somebody who says what the others just whisper
And mostly that someone’s the first one to get shot down dead
So when you talk to a cowboy don’t treat him like he was a sister
You can’t fuck with a lady that’s sleepin’ in each cowboy’s head
While it’s nice to dream of such a scenario and work towards such a promise, the reality is much different, and often much more tragic. But I’m here for the fight, I’m here for the battle, I’m here for the war. And if I want to wear a cowboy hat and sing Willie Nelson tunes and maybe even learn a line dance or two (ok maybe not that) then let us have a cowboy’s life.
Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other
What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?
There’s many a cowboy who don’t understand
The way that he feels for his brother
And inside every lady, there’s a cowboy who’d love to come out
And inside every cowboy, there’s a lady that’d love to slip out
