He remained, right up until the end, somehow unknowable. Even with all of his eventual revelations, all the written secrets, published and unpublished, even with all of his pictures and photo shoots, his relentless self-promotion and sustained social media presence, he stayed such a secret.
He told you repeatedly you didn’t know him.
You don’t know him.
Mr. Oud wanted to be known, just not in that way.
You give your hand to me and then you say, “Hello”
And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so
And anyone can tell, you think you know me well
Well, you don’t know me (No, you don’t know me)
No, you don’t know the one who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight
Oh, I’m just a friend, that’s all I’ve ever been
‘Cause you don’t know me (No, you don’t know me)
Oh, I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too (Love me too)
He maintains a murky state of suspension, some colloidal haze that surrounded his every movement, and even his absence, as if a fragrant fog would descend upon every mention of his name, every story whispered or shared in his wake.
You give your hand to me and then you say, “Goodbye”
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh, to never, never know the one who loved you so
Well, you don’t know me
Mr. Oud sits languidly in a little lobby bar where this song plays in the background. It is the end of summer, or the end of winter, because all the seasons are one in a little lobby bar. Mr. Oud is a man of all seasons, defying weather as much as he defies augury, then he remembers he knows nothing of Shakespeare. The song plays him off, though you don’t notice until it is over and he is gone again.
Oh, I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too (Love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me and then you say, “Goodbye”
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh, you never, never know the one who loved you so
Well, you don’t know me
