Category Archives: Tiny Threads

What is the point of desiccating perfectly good fruit in the sun? I’m talking to you, raisins and sun-dried tomatoes. You gag me.

#TinyThreads

The days of three-way calling are long gone.

Still, I remember them with a smile.

Click twice.

#TinyThreads

Me, at work: “I think my hearing’s going. Thank God.”

#TinyThreads

Rarely does anything good come of a text thread with more than five people on it.

#WhittleMeThis

#TinyThreads

Are the people who have to write ‘TBH’ generally lying the rest of the time?

#TinyThreads

How is it that I can type a perfectly-spelled and perfectly-punctuated text message 200 characters long with my thumb on a screen the size of a walnut, but cannot fit one of these things back in the shelf unit in less than five tries? 

#TinyThreads 

Remember when your cassettes encountered something magnetic and the next time you played them you were a DJ bringing the volume up and down like the real thing?

#TinyThreads

In the immortal words of Miss Janet Jackson:

“Ain’t no acid in this house.”

#RhythmNation1814

#TinyThreads

How come only guys get caught with their zippers down? 

#TinyThreads

To give you an indication of how much I’ve aged, I decided I need a long-handled shoe horn to get dressed in the morning. I’ll pass it off as a component of dandyism, but it’s really just age. (Mine will be much fancier than the one pictured.)

#TinyThreads

I’m Wilhelmina Slater and I don’t get wet.

#TinyThreads

Thank God for online shopping.

I mean, really.

Thank you, God.

Hallelu.

#TinyThreads

A spiderweb of gold around my neck.

I think it’s time for a new necklace.

A bracelet will do too.

#TinyThreads

This year the role of ‘Drunk Gay Uncle’ will be played by Alan Bennett Ilagan.

[All season long – this is a recurring role. And he’s open to nudity in the service of a storyline.]

#TinyThreads

Have you started crocheting your winter blanket?

We should have started when the goldenrod appeared in August.

Still, it’s never too late.

#TinyThreads