Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Getting tripped up on my palazzo pants is a benign reminder that I’m human after all.

Human and fabulous.

(And more than a little ridiculous.)

#TinyThreads

It’s a good thing I never got into heroin. Or crystal meth. Or bath salts. Well, aside from their intended use. I love bath salts in a hot bath.

#TinyThreads

I love before and after photos.

Just not my own.

#TinyThreads

If you are asked what something might mean to you if such and such happened, don’t cop out and say “it would mean the world to me.” Trite nonsense is time wasted.

#TinyThreads

When did audiences get so fucking rude?

#TinyThreads

There’s always a chance this may change, but I honestly don’t see myself getting into a backpack anytime soon. Not even if Tom Ford is selling one.

#TinyThreads

We really need spring to be here already.

Like, yesterday.

#TinyThreads

Are we still leaving phone messages? Why is this even a thing?

#TinyThreads

I like selfies as much as, if not more than, the next person, but if your Instagram is ALL selfies from the same exact angle over and over and over again, there’s no incentive to follow.

#TinyThreads

Fancily-attired offices might find some people asking, ‘Is that Calvin Klein?’  or ‘Is that Michael Kors?’ In my office I have to ask, ‘Is that Uniform Village?’

#TinyThreads

Have you ever opened two bags of, say, Trader Joe’s sweet and savory trail mix, and convinced yourself you’ve only had one serving because you only took one serving of each? That might have just happened here.

(Those servings are ridiculous anyway. Sixteen in a small bag? Who can manage that?)

#TinyThreads

The clothing we wear is like a shell.

Here’s the trick to shells, because it’s not about how pretty or porcelain-like they appear: their most important feature is also their most overlooked. A shell is hollow. Its hollowness is what makes it a shell.

It only lives when it is filled. 

#TinyThreads

When you’re slaving over the paper towel dispenser in the office restroom, really pumping and pumping the handle because you feel it’s making traction, and nothing is happening… then all of a sudden it lets loose with an exploding accordion of fresh paper towels: that’s glorious.

#TinyThreads

To be considered good, a melon must not only be sweet, but also smooth. I do not look for crunchiness in a cantaloupe or honeydew. Crunchy is for granola.

#TinyThreads