Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Sometimes, when it feels like the world has gone mad and taken leave of its senses, all you can do is shrug and go about your day.

Self-preservation is important and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

#TinyThreads

No, autocorrect, I don’t mean ‘county‘ and I don’t mean ‘ducking‘.

When are you going to learn me?

#TinyThreads

Nellie Oleson is still my hero and inspiration.

She gave cunty before we even knew what cunty was.

#TinyThreads

How the fuck are we supposed to touch grass in this?

#TinyThreads

Adding sequins and seed beads to a coat is as good a winter project as any.

Don’t prick your finger.

Just keep sparkling.

#TinyThreads

The word ‘parlor’ is Victorian porno.

IYKYK, and only Ann and Missy know.

Shout out to my girls!

#TinyThreads

Sometimes coziness is a meme.

#TinyThreads

Locating the sliver of extra light we gain each day will have to be enough of an accomplishment for the moment at hand.

#TinyThreads

When I call and text my friends that I need to talk to them, I usually get crickets.

When I give advance warning not to call because I’m about to head into a movie or show, they will invariably call and text.

My phone is ridiculously pointless.

My pathology originates here.

(PS – The featured photo shows the average number of spam calls I get of a day, which is why the ringer is always off. It won’t even vibrate because I don’t want to know.)

#TinyThreads

I long for the days when my social media feed was how to tie scarves, Tom Ford underwear, garden meditations, and Madonna.

Please, algorithm gods, return me to such a happily innocuous realm.

#TinyThreads

The sound of a lawnmower will always be sweeter than the sound of a snowblower.

Both are better than the sound of a leaf blower.

Neither is as nice as the pool pump kicking on.

Comparison remains the ultimate thief of joy.

#TinyThreads

There are still people out there who exclaim, “Holy mackerel!” without a shred of irony or snarkiness.

This makes me happy.

I heard one of them say this at the cafe the other night. The marvel was real; the reassurance in humanity was brief.

#TinyThreads

Cursive is the new print.

If we’re not teaching kids cursive, how are they going to sign their name?

Printed like a child?

Sad.

#TinyThreads