Summer is drama.
Summer is histrionics.
Summer is soap operas and Crystal Light and raspberry hard candy.
You have your summer memories, I have mine. Let’s make a new one together to this classic Donna Summer cover of ‘MacArthur Park’; it fits into the Solid Gold Summer theme rather loosely, as Alysa Liu won her gold medal skating to this song. Consider it gold-adjacent via the Winter Olympics. A campy golden reference that is deceptively at odds with how deep this post may go. For now, let’s get lost in the cheesy drama of a pressed pair of striped pants or a cake being left out in the rain…
SPRING WAS NEVER WAITING FOR US ‘TIL
IT RAN ONE STEP AHEAD AS WE FOLLOWED IN THE DANCE
BETWEEN THE PARTED PAGES WE WERE PRESSED,
IN LOVE’S HOT, FEVERED IRON, LIKE A STRIPED PAIR OF PANTS
MACARTHUR’S PARK IS MELTING IN THE DARK
ALL THE SWEET GREEN ICING FLOWING DOWN
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
I DON’T THINK THAT I CAN TAKE IT ‘CAUSE IT TOOK SO LONG TO BAKE IT
AND I’LL NEVER HAVE THAT RECIPE AGAIN
I RECALL THE YELLOW COTTON DRESS
FOAMING LIKE A WAVE ON THE GROUND BENEATH YOUR KNEES
BIRDS LIKE TENDER BABIES IN YOUR HANDS
AND THE OLD MEN PLAYING CHINESE CHECKERS BY THE TREES
There is something both insanely ridiculous and incredibly moving about the words and imagery and music here. When you’re in the throes of heartbreak, when you find yourself suddenly left behind and out of love, you do what you have to do to cope and survive. Sometimes that’s in a cheesy pop song (see ‘Bye Bye Bye’ by N’Sync for how I got over one previous paramour) and sometimes that’s in more probing mind tricks.
MACARTHUR’S PARK IS MELTING IN THE DARK
ALL THE SWEET GREEN ICING FLOWING DOWN
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
I DON’T THINK THAT I CAN TAKE IT ‘CAUSE IT TOOK SO LONG TO BAKE IT
AND I’LL NEVER HAVE THAT RECIPE AGAIN
Can you force yourself to feel or not feel things? I used to think you couldn’t force your way out of either of them, but I don’t know if that’s entirely true. So much of life is in our perception and perspective – change those and you change what you might actually feel. Like grieving or lost love. Is it better to allow ourselves to feel all of it, to embrace the sorrow and hurt and get into it, or does that run the risk of diving deeper and possibly irreparably into an everlasting funk? The past few years I’ve leaned into feeling all of it, even when it sucked, even when it hurt, because I understood that burying it all inside wasn’t helpful or healthy.
THERE WILL BE ANOTHER SONG FOR ME AND I WILL SING IT
THERE WILL BE ANOTHER DREAM FOR ME
SOMEONE WILL BRING IT
I WILL DRINK THE WINE WHILE IT IS WARM
AND NEVER LET YOU CATCH ME LOOKING AT THE SUN
AND AFTER ALL THE LOVES OF MY LIFE,
AFTER ALL THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, YOU’LL STILL BE THE ONE
‘Fake it until you make it‘ was how I made it through my college years and early 20’s. Sometimes you have to hang curtains of glistening gold material to hide the scaffolding and machinations behind building the bones and structure of self-worth. I know I can do that – I’ve trained myself to shift my perception and perspective, to coldly and analytically examine my feelings then take them carefully and resolutely apart, rendering them mere sections and segments, bits and parts and pieces of something that once constituted something grander. But do I want to do that anymore? I’m conflicted.
I WILL TAKE MY LIFE INTO MY HANDS AND I WILL USE IT
I WILL WIN THE WORSHIP IN THEIR EYES AND I WILL LOSE IT
I WILL HAVE THE THINGS THAT I DESIRE
AND MY PASSION FLOWS LIKE RIVERS FROM THE SKY
OH AND AFTER ALL THE LOVES OF MY LIFE,
AFTER ALL THE LOVES IN MY LIFE
YOU’LL STILL BE THE ONE AND I’LL ASK MYSELF WHY…
As we embark upon this Solid Gold Summer, it is worth noting that there is nothing solid about summer. There is only irony, hollowness, emptiness – the sheen, the shell, the facade. There is no sure footing here. Every step is perilous and you must watch for slips and falls, cracks and ruin, degradation and destruction like some marble faun sculpture falling to the ground and smashing into pieces. Fake gold, false gods, imitation metal – there is nothing real to this summer. Reality is dead.
Along those lines, there is no such thing as a stable summer either. The atmosphere is too volatile, the conditions too prime for tornadoes and hurricanes – the peaks and valleys too high and too deep for a smooth base of stability or permanence.
There, that’s your first day of summer for you. Hot enough yet?
