Thirty years ago I sent out my first Christmas photo card as documented in this blog post. It probably went out to be about 25 people if my increasingly-bleak memory serves, and I probably thought that was a heavy lift. It made as much of a splash as such things did in the late 90’s, which was a kinder, more quaint time in our history – more seemingly innocent and soft – and ripe for the sort of hard-edged bondage shot that went out that first year. It was the start of a tradition that has reached its 30th year, and this season’s offering is coming up tomorrow, so bookmark this blog if you don’t want to miss out.
Every parent has a favorite child, admitted or not (according to several parents I know) and I absolutely have a favorite holiday card. I won’t play coy or beat around the bush as that is definitely not my vibe, so I’ll direct you to 2016’s ‘Little Baby Jesus‘ shot to end the suspense. That one came with a trigger warning for the graphic content. (It remains my most controversial, as the first proposed printing company actually returned payment and canceled the order once they saw the picture – the first and thus far only time that’s happened.)
As you might surmise, it’s the supposedly-shocking cards that touch my heart the most, such as the ‘Disco Ball Jock‘ pose from 2005, or 2012’s ‘Eat Your Holiday Heart Out‘.
Not that I didn’t sometimes have a softer spot for more sentimental fare, as evidenced by the cards that featured more family-oriented and sweeter fare, such as the 2010 ‘Wedding Card‘ from the year we got married, the easy-way-out redux of a childhood photo for 2013’s ‘Baby Brothers Ilagan‘, and the touching ‘Family Affair‘ recreation with Mom and Dad for 2020. Also of tender note was 2022’s tribute to my godson Jaxon which included a play on ‘The Godfather‘, as well as 2011’s ‘Uncle Al’s Radio Flyer‘ which featured the Ilagan twins, Emi and Noah.
Then there were the wild randos that still manage to surprise – the 2014 faux-cocaine pic entitled ‘Let It Snow‘, the ‘Bad Dumpster Santa‘ of 2007, and our most recent ‘Shitter’s Full‘ pic from last year – an homage to ‘Christmas Vacation’.
Before this year’s incendiary reveal, it seems right to point out some of the softer and more demure images to grace my friends’ mailboxes and mantles, such as the ‘Beautiful Christmas By the Sea‘ in 2008, or the following year’s ‘Angelic Ass‘, 2021’s cardigan-clad ‘Winter Slumber‘ or 2023’s gray-shaded ‘Father Time‘ treatise on the passing years.
All of those were mere appetizers for this year’s main platter, which is easily the hardest photo card I’ve ever shot, and it shows; I worked my proverbial ass off for this one, so come back and see tomorrow!
