Wind-chimes hanging from a coral-bark maple tree sound their auditory twinkles in the warm breeze. Yes, the breeze is warm – a late-September aberration – and the pool is warm too. Sneaking in another pool day on a lazy Sunday, because we deserve it after this slow-to-start summer. The perfect pool song waited until this moment to present itself – the universe taking its time and placing things exactly where they belong at the precise moment they belong there.
As if the first cut wasn’t deep enough
I dove in again ’cause I’m not into giving up
Could’ve gotten the same rush from any lover’s touch
Why get used to something new?
‘Cause no one breaks my heart like you
A Paramore kick continues this week, this time with the aptly-titled ‘Pool’ to save this beautifully-wrecked September. The sun is hot again, and I’m sorry to say I didn’t get into the pool as much as I should have this past August – maybe turning 50 took some of the youthful joy out of it – and I couldn’t tell you why. Well, fuck that, and fuck any notion of mature behavior at this stage of the game – I wouldn’t know where to begin!
When you kiss me, I wish we could see what happens next
For a moment, I can forget what happens in my head
If I doubt you, will you come through
With a happy second chance, a happy ending
But this time you don’t leave me sinking
I’m underwater
No air in my lungs
My eyes are open
And I’m giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in
At first, I focus on these photos, on capturing this moment – because who knows if it will be the last pool day? – and then I put the phone down, cradling it into a plush towel before pushing off into the water and leaving worldly concerns somewhere in mid-air. Underwater, it’s thrilling – exhilarating – the way it always is when you’ve been out of water for a while. Smiling, I almost start giggling as I squint into the sunlight waving from the bottom of the pool.
As if the first blood didn’t thrill enough
I went further out to see what else was left of us
Never found the deep end of our little ocean
Drain the fantasy of you
Headfirst into shallow pools
And I wonder, is it better to get it over with?
The illusion can shatter before we begin
If you’re really sorry
Happy second chance
I think I could forgive
This time you won’t leave me sinking
As much as I’ve been ready to embrace this fall, a brief return to summer is a gift that I will not forsake. I would do it all again without hesitation or doubt – no complaints, no regrets, no denial of joy and ecstasy – not when summer is always so fleeting. Beneath the surface of the water, I feel the body relaxing, the muscles easing out of their hunched tension – the kind of melting that only a pool in the summer can elicit.
I’m underwater
No air in my lungs
My eyes are open
And I’m giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in
Dive back into
Right back into
Dive right back into you
And now I know you
Now I know you
Now that I know you
Dive right back into you
Diving back into this summer – its heat, its greenhouse-like humidity, its sweaty glory – is a welcome indulgence. While I say that summer never lasts, there are ways to keep it going – the invincible summer of Albert Camus comes to mind – and on this day, in this pool, summer winks like some sweetly salty starfish sparkling at the bottom of a lusty tide pool.
I’m underwater
No air in my lungs
My eyes are open
And I’m giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in
