Alan Ilagan

Outside the forum, a crowd was gathering. It was lunch time, and businessmen in suits stood in small groups waiting for them to arrive. Hordes of children squealed with anticipatory delight, running around in small circles and tugging on their parents’ coats. They heard them before they saw them – two loud trumpet-like calls cutting through the murmuring mass, a moment of silence, then the wide-eyed wonderment and excited chatter of the children again.

            They were led out into the middle of the street, lumbering behind their trainers and parting the throngs effortlessly. Their wrinkled grayish-brown skin was dotted with hair. Everyone was always surprised by that. Plain, unadorned, and out-of-costume, the elephants were still magnificent. Their immensity was more amazing when viewed up close. Picture a wall of rough flesh rising before you, a moving mound of muscles, powerful hindquarters, and the most soul-searching pair of eyes found in the animal kingdom. You know they are seeing into you. You know they will remember. 

I cannot bring myself to watch them eat. It’s what I came out for, it’s what everyone came out for, but now that I’ve seen them I can’t do it. I don’t like being watched when I’m eating, and I’m certain they feel the same. A lifetime of being watched becomes its own circus. You end up wanting to rip your own skin off and throw it at the surrounding circle, even though you know that the circle moves around you, growing and contracting but always out of reach, out of touch. It is indeed a circus, but it’s all you’ve ever known, and after being the center of attention for so long you come to realize: there’s no other way.

The Full Project HERE.

Beyond Rhyme & Reason ~

It’s a whole new season ~

Act the fool or malfeason ~

They’ll accuse you of treason ~

This body you’re leasin’ ~

This skin you’re creasin’ ~

This heart you’re freezin’ ~

These animals you’re teasin’~

These feelings you’re ceasin’~

These boughs you’re breezin’~

Those sheep you’re fleecin’~

Like a falling star

Beginning to char

Adoration from afar

Fine features to mar

On the wings of a bar

The vroom-vroom of a car

An electric guitar

A sun roof ajar

A turban from a czar

Laughter hardy har-har

A book wrapped in mylar

Strumming a sitar

Puffing on a cigar

Let them call you freak,

In the havoc you wreak,

In the noses you tweak,

In the stories you leak,

Not for the faint or weak,

Not for the plain or bleak,

You’re much too chic

For the pussy or the geek,

For the mindless or the meek,

Few dare to peek,

A Piccadilly boutique,

A scarf so fucking sleek,

And a parrot’s regal beak.

You were always unique.

_________________________________

THE CIRCUS PROJECT – April 2008

LADIES & GENTLEMEN,

BOYS & GIRLS,

ANIMALS & CREATURES

OF THE DAY & NIGHT ~

STEP RIGHT UP!

Prepare to be excited,

You’ll never be righted!

The lights are all lighted

You may even be knighted!

Let your worries be blighted,

And all will be united!

Because everyone’s invited…

To The Circus.

{Posted Now in The Projects}

It was April 2008, and I wanted to join the circus.

THE CIRCUS PROJECT  – From April 2008

From 2008: “For now, though, there’s The Circus Project – an apt look at the wild and crazy adventures of a quasi-fictional protagonist who doesn’t quite fit in. To this day, it’s that sense of being an outsider that fuels him, keeping him creatively fired-up, even if it’s his very strangeness that makes him so unforgettable – and if it’s been a circus, well, step right up.”

Since I’ll be on vacation this weekend, I’ve programmed a few posts from the Circus era – for the full Project, please visit The Projects Page.