This is difficult for me to admit, but I don’t completely abhor the idea of David Beckham doing a suit collection. He’s looked rather dashing in the last few suit pics I’ve seen of him, so he knows how to wear them. And it’s not like he’ll actually be sewing them himself… (To be honest, I don’t know how big a part he’ll play in the actual design of them either – I find it hard to believe that these vanity labels give all that much free reign to their namesakes. Do you really think Madonna was drawing out sketches for H&M?)

Of course if given the option, I much prefer Mr. Beckham in his underwear to any sort of suit.

With the possible exception of this bathing suit (which might as well be underwear).

The few times it has gone off have not yet been proven conclusively. Harold Ford Jr. sets it off whenever I see or hear him on the television. The impeccably-dressed guy at work had it ringing, even after everyone confirmed the existence of a live-in girlfriend. And then there’s Ricky Martin.

The first time I saw him was at the Grammys (it was Madonna’s big Ray of Light year, and she opened the show and ended up winning four trophys). Mr. Martin was singing La Copa de la Vida (The Cup of Life) (conveniently embedded below) and at the 0:54 mark I thought, ‘GAY.’ It only crossed my mind for a second, but then it happened again at 1:50 and my mind just went, ‘GAY.’

That night was his first big public appearance  just before he stormed the world with Livin’ La Vida Loca, so most of us didn’t know him that well. (I for one certainly hadn’t followed the many members of Menudo.) As with many semi-attractive (he does nothing for me) single men, there was much speculation about his sexuality at the time. Since he wasn’t my type, I couldn’t have cared less. It wasn’t until recently, and the following photos, that my gaydar perked up again.

Now I suppose it’s possible that straight men do wear speedos, and outside of this country many do. But aside from Daniel Craig doing a James Bond ocean scene or David Beckham being, well, David Beckham, most famous straight guys just don’t rock the speedo (which, granted, is a shame for those of us who like to look.)

These were taken a few years ago (before he went and adopted or birthed a couple of children – are they biologically his? Don’t know, don’t care. I do know he’s already posed shirtless with them, which to me seems both gay and odd…)

The point is, he’s never publicly come out, so my gaydar remains infuriatingly inauthenticated, and Ricky Martin remains infuriatingly unknown.