From last night’s episode of Glee (Kurt’s Dad giving the sex talk to his gay son):
“When you’re intimate with someone in that way, you gotta know that you’re exposing yourself. You’re never gonna be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys…With two guys you’ve got two people who think that sex is just sex. It’s gonna be easier to come by and once you start, you aren’t gonna want to stop. You gotta know that it means something. It’s doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you’re just having fun…When you’re ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you’re ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter, because you matter.”
From OMG Blog.
Oh how I wish someone had said such words to me – or any words for that matter – on what gay sex would, and more importantly could, be like… Instead, I had to find my own way, as too many of us have had to do, with no signposts, no encouragement or explanation, and little to no hope. It’s good to see that times are changing.
Ahoy, matey! A few weeks ago I got a FaceBook request from a former school mate. I was a little leery of it, since we were never really that close, but hey, if I can accept requests from an 80-year-old suspiciously-blonde guy in Germany with a predilection for Thai youth, surely I can accept an old grade school classmate. Besides, I don’t hide much info from “Friends of Friends” so I assumed he was cool with the content of my page. (It is much cleaner and suitable for mass consumption than this sometimes-NSFW site.)
A few days ago, after posting a link to this post (not NSFW in and of itself), he commented something to this effect, “We know you’re an ass pirate – we get it – but do you have to put that stuff on here? My niece is on FB – c’mon, really???” Now, first of all, people who say “Really???” lack imagination and effort, and I don’t really want to be their friend. Second, this person had asked to be my friend, and if he didn’t like my posts, why bother to respond? Simply “Unfriend” (as I quickly did to him.) Third, since he was someone who has posted much racier rap songs and offensive lyrics on his own page, I’m guessing it was the “ass pirate” aspect of my posts that most offended him. (By the way, I didn’t realize that “ass pirate” was a term used outside of gay porn. Now that I’m aware it’s on the table, shiver me timbers!) Normally I’d leave a comment of that character up for all the FaceBook world to see and rip apart (you never forget the first time you’re called an ass pirate), but I didn’t want thousands of gay men to gang up on him so I deleted it.
There is one thing that has made this more laughable than offensive to me. A few days prior to his last message, he asked me, and I quote, “What ever happened to you’re brother?” Sometimes the haters make it too easy.
I stumbled upon the above video over at Wicked Gay Blog, and it was so moving I had to share it here. Strangely enough, out of all of my self-destructive tendencies, I never once fell in love with a straight guy – though there were plenty of opportunities.
Up until my twenties, straight guys simply scared the shit out of me. After I became more comfortable with myself, and confident in my sexuality, those fears gradually subsided, and I began to find a few really close friends who happened to be straight guys.
My coterie of fag stags includes some men I’ve known for over fifteen years, and there has always been something refreshingly low-maintenance to most of my interactions with my guy friends. (Don’t get me wrong, heterosexual men are just as vain as gay men – we’re just more open about it.)
While I’ve never fallen for a straight guy, I can certainly empathize with the pain of falling for someone who is supremely uninterested in you. One of the worst things for the soul is loving someone who doesn’t love you back. There’s something damning about it, something that alters the way you love everyone afterward. It takes something from you, and no matter how noble it may be – and I do believe there is nobility in loving someone, no matter how unrequited – it leaves an ache and an emptiness that no one can ever fill.
This was the sky over our home when we had those late afternoon storms on Monday.
It’s a fitting scene, marking the end of another Gay Pride month, and paving the yellow-brick way into July, the month in which I officially came out as a gay man - way back in 1997.
This year I’ll be celebrating my marriage and my ten-year anniversary with Andy during the month of July, and while 1997 was a very good year, 2010 is just a little bit better.
There is no one more appropriate to lead off Albany’s Gay Pride Parade than these two. This is Charlie Ferrusi and Timmy Howard, the two gentlemen who were recently crowned Prom King and Queen at Hudson High School. The full story (one of them at least) is right here, and it’s touching and hopeful.
This is Andy checking out the make and model of the automobile that Michael Weidrich rode in.
I love this.
The HomoRadio Crew… live on the air.
The Emperor.
Ulysses in the center, who worked his ass off to make much of today happen.
John, who wrongfully claimed he doesn’t take a good picture.
The brilliant Carmie Hope and uber-fabulous Whiskey Sour (aka Kevin Bruce).
Above is Assemblymember John J. McEneny, which means nothing to me, but Andy says he’s a good guy. He was actually parked right next to us and left when we did, so Andy had a brief chat and handshake with him. Unfortunately, at this point in time most politicians fail to impress me.
I actually didn’t even notice the guy in the red jockstrap showing off his ass until I got home and looked at these photos (and I’m okay with that.)
One of my favorite singer-singwriters, Jeremy James, and his fiance Josh.
I was wrong – gay pride isn’t about sequins and short shorts – it’s about jodhpurs and suspenders (intentionally backward). And a Jean Paul Gaultier denim jacket in the event of rain (not shown).
