Alan Ilagan

Yesterday we celebrated my Dad’s birthday with a Filipino family dinner in Amsterdam, NY. Here’s Noah with his Lolo.

And here’s Emi with her Lola.

(I almost wore those same pants… no lie. Not sure what it says about my current fashion state that I’m dressing like a 6-month-old.)

Never one to be outdone, Emi had her ears pierced and they look lovely.

For dinner, Mom made this sweet and sour salmon (one of my favorite dishes of all-time, recipe courtesy of Aunt Luz) and the pancit pictured below. Both were delicious, and brought back family memories of extensive Filipino dinners, where extended family members spent hours chopping up food in Auntie Naty’s kitchen.

I’m not a huge fan of kids – it’s well known and well-documented – but these kids are freaking cute, and I can’t wait to see who they become.

My birthday started off in the best possible way – with breakfast at a diner. Since Andy doesn’t really like the morning meal, I rarely get to indulge in one of my favorite things to do, but since it was my birthday he had to oblige.

In this case it was Quintessence, that venerable Albany landmark that recently (or not-so-recently) re-opened in the hope of recapturing its former glory, and from most accounts it comes pretty close. The last time I was here was in the mid-90’s, with Suzie for a brunch or something if I recall. Not much has changed, which is why I wanted to revisit it.

There are few joys in the world as satisfying as a good diner breakfast. Something about it makes everything taste better. (Especially the toast - how do they get the toast to taste so good? And how come mine never approaches that melt-in-your-mouth magic? No matter how much butter I throw on it, it can’t compare.)

Even the simplest glasses of OJ and coffee become works of art in a proper diner.

And while they don’t serve eggs benedict on weekdays (even if it’s your birthday – though I didn’t tell them), a good ham and cheese omelette works just as well.

The side of potatoes was the only off-key note of the morning, tasting merely like, well, potatoes. Plain potatoes with nary a hint of spice or seasoning. (I’ve suddenly gone all Albany Jane on you.) Luckily, Andy’s French toast, and the few bites I was afforded of it, made up for this.

After breakfast, we headed back home for the lady to do our house appraisal. Yes, somehow it got scheduled on my birthday, but I could have cared less, for I was off shopping. For one day I got to do two of my most favorite things in the world – breakfast and shopping. I found a pair of deeply discounted Cole Haan suede shoes, so someone from up above was wishing me a Happy Birthday too.

After that, it was off to Amsterdam for a family dinner, including appearances from the cutest babies in the universe – my niece and nephew. Here is Emi Lu on my lap.

And here is the funniest baby Noah. (You should see his smile – it’s insane.)

And one more of Emi…

For their first few months, Noah was the easy-going, quieter one. Now their roles have reversed and he’s going everywhere, while Emi can sit still and contemplate. It will be interesting to see where they go from here.

As for me, I’m 35, married, with no children, and there’s not much more to say about it. I can’t complain – I still lead one of the most charmed lives of anyone I know, and I am very grateful for that. Now it’s time to dive into the next year.

The wedding coat was finally unveiled, indoors to protect it from the rain, and I had the honor of standing beside the woman who sewed it, Marline’s Momma. As can be seen, she did an amazing job, and I owe her more than a few bottles of wine.

With all of the chartreuse and aqua, I wanted something to stand out, so I found this astounding hue, somewhere between fuschia and violet, in dupioni silk, then added a train of ruffled silk and organza roses (each hand-sewn by yours truly), filling in the rest with a ton of tulle.

{Skip is totally jealous, and pissed that he chose to change into that golf shirt.}

{With cousins – Bobby & Kate}

A hug from Marline.

With Jen’s husband Mike.

With stylist Jeff.

With Gin-Gin.

And with Jo-Jo. 

This was easily the most fun item of couture that I have ever worn in my life, and if it wasn’t exactly conducive to walking, it certainly lent itself to photographs (and this is likely not the last time you’ll see it somewhere). It was worn for the briefest of moments, which had always been the plan, and then it was back to our barong tagalog shirts that worked out well with the stifling heat.

The barong tagalog is a traditional Filipino shirt for men, usually worn at formal events such as weddings. It is designed to be light and breathable, successfully serving its purpose on this humid evening. Our flip-flips (mine in lime green, Andy’s in turquoise) matched the color scheme and kept our little piggies cool.

{More family – Erin & Paul with my nephew & niece, Noah and Emi}

{Sherri, Jim, and Maria – Jim is such a ladies man.}

{Rick, Guy & Eric}

{Jo-Jo, Paul, Mom, & Bobby, stepping in as bartender}

{Rob & Jason}

{Dan, Rob, Scott, & Laurie}

{The Cape Crew – Lee, Wally, Carolyn, & Kim}

{The stunning JoAnn MacKinnon, a.k.a. Jo-Jo/Josie/J-Bop/BOOM}

{Crazy, Noreen, & Marline}

As the evening was winding down, there were still cupcakes to be had… so stay tuned.

Final installment of The Wedding Party coming up…

The evening’s enchantment continued as the night sky went dark. Pools of light glowed beneath the tents and on the porch and terrace, candles flickered on the tables, and paper birds danced in mid-air.

{Carolyn & JoAnn}

{Carole & D}

{The infamous Sue Santa Lucia}

{Alissa & Chris}

{My cousins – Michael, Christy, & Megan. We get to see them every year at New Year’s, and other events like weddings.}

{My brother and me}

{More family – Michael, Aunt Sally, Uncle Ding, Mom, me, Andy, Uncle Andy, & Aunt Ann Sadone}

{Still more family – Karl, me, Andy, Andy’s niece Andrea, and Kristie}

{Me with Skip & Alura}

{Maria & Steve}

{Skip & me}

{Sherri (Skip’s way-better half), Marline, & Maria}

{The amazing Jim Sessions, who was my drink bitch for the night}

{Gary & Andy}

Like most married couples on their wedding day, we didn’t get to make much out of the dinner that was served (I didn’t even get to try any of the appetizers), and we only had time to lift a fast forkful or two off of our dinner plates. From what I understand, the food was great, including the cupcakes from Sweet Temptations (which I did get to try, even if it was the next day).

We hadn’t even thought to reserve one of the tables for ourselves, so with most seats occupied, Andy and I made do on the wicker couch on the terrace, overlooking all our friends and family in the main tent. That was our intimate moment of the evening, the two of us stealing a few quick bites of our wedding dinner, watching the laughter of the beloved people in our life.

It was precisely the evening we had hoped it would be – casual and loose and fun. The color theme was chartreuse and Tiffany blue – which is just a fancy way of saying lime green and aqua. I’ve always loved chartreuse, and Andy’s loved the Tiffany blue of some of his favorite cars. They went surprisingly well together.

As the sun went down on the back terrace, sheer curtains fluttered in the warm breeze, framing cream hydrangeas and glowing ivory candles.

The thousand paper cranes I spent the last year making were finally revealed, dangling on the side porch, winding their way along tent poles, and stationed at each place setting.

We wanted the evening to be whimsical and elegant, a momentary jewel, fleeting and transitory like a dream, founded on the wings of paper birds and garland, bathed in green and amethyst light around the glowing mist of a pool.

The heat and humidity were high, but the rain held out until everyone had arrived and the party was in full-swing. At that point it turned into a soaking wet free-for-all, and that was all right too. From tent to tent we ran, little adventures all around, dodging puddles and dripping awnings, some even basking in the wet relief from the heat.

{The guests arriving.}

{The Cape Cod Crew, in full effect.}

{Jen, Michel, & Sherri. Jen took most of these photos, graciously documenting some of our friends and family. Sincere thanks to her (and a couple of bottles to come).}

{Dad talking to our guests.}

{Carol & Gary}

{Lee & Vince}

{Eric & JoAnn}

{Cal & Lorie}

{Doris & Ed}

{Sue & Deb}

{Mary Ellen & Buck}

{Crazy & Momma}

{Joe, Me, Carla, & Missy}

We are very lucky to have such a great group of friends and family. Prior to that night, I’d always been rather nonchalant about the whole wedding reception party. We’d thrown parties before – some of which had quite a few people – but none of them could have prepared me for this one, and I did not expect to be as affected as I was.  As Andy and I sat on the terrace looking out over all the people we knew and loved in the world, I realized what we had accomplished, what our love had created.

To be surrounded by so much love and support, to see everyone in our lives together under one roof – it was a profound moment, and I suddenly understood what all the wedding fuss was about. We will never again have an evening like that, but we will hold the memory of it close to our hearts forever.

Yesterday my brother and sister-in-law welcomed their first children into the world – twins no less – one boy and one girl – so they are going to have their hands full for the next twenty years or so.

I’ve already offered my babysitting services, just as soon as they turn twenty-one.

My affinity for children, or lack-thereof, should come as no surprise to anyone. It’s not a secret that, despite my often-childish behavior, I don’t have much in common with kids. As far as I’m concerned, children should be neither seen nor heard until they’re old enough to understand an insult, which is about all I can offer.

My stance has softened a bit in recent years, starting when Suzie had Oona. Mia and Julian (respective offspring of Sherri and Missy) helped out as well, but part of me still failed to feel what all the fuss was about.

My friend Carla, a new aunt herself, said it’s different when they’re related to you, and I think she may be right.

When I walked into the room and saw those two tiny creatures that my brother and sister-in-law created, suddenly everything changed – and, reluctant Uncle that I may be, I was swept up into the giddy excitement and awe of the whole event.

In the middle of it all were these two little babies that were barely seeing the world for the first time, two brand-new souls that shared a bit of my blood-line - and a little part of me aches for what it may never have

Up until today, I’d never understood the excitement that the birth of a baby inspires in so many. The closest I’d come to getting it was in a quote from Mark Twain: Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

But sometimes, perhaps on a gray rainy day in the earliest of Spring, such studied cynicism falls away, dispelled by a momentary hope and happiness, banished by joy, and overwhelmed by love, and I am touched by the simplest workings of life.

Congratulations to Paul and Erin, and the lucky twins who have you as their Mom and Dad. (And yes, I will babysit before they turn twenty-one.)