Alan Ilagan

With the exception of one incredibly-wrong-but-well-intentioned gold-banded amethyst ring (have we met?), I have never exchanged or returned a gift in my life. Even if the size is wrong (and it often is – I am usually a Men’s Small, not Medium) I’ll wear the baggy sweater because it was a gift. See, despite my darnedest efforts to prove the contrary, I am quite a sentimental soul, and the idea of returning or exchanging a gift that someone cared enough to pick out for me is unthinkable.

If someone did that to me, I think, as unflappable as I like to pretend to be, I’d be just the tiniest bit hurt. (So if you have, don’t tell me.) Sometimes we’re not who we profess to be. This is one of those times.

Luckily this year I was fortunate to have my family stick to the Wish list I posted a while back, and they did not disappoint. My favorites were easily this Cole Haan bag and the magnificent new Private Blend from Tom Ford, ‘Santal Blush’. The Brooks Brothers’ certificate will come in quite handy as well. Christmas isn’t just about the gifts and presents, but I certainly won’t complain if they’re always like this.

I wasn’t going to do this, since all I wanted for Christmas was a trip to London, but as that’s not happening I’ll put this out – mostly for my parents (and any online fans who want my eternal gratitude).

Let’s begin with the unattainable (it makes what I really want look that much more reasonable) – I’m not even going to bother with Louis Vuitton this year – not in these economically-lean times. I will, however, make an unimpassioned plea (I’m too lazy to work up passion right now) for a piece from Mulberry. Here we have the “Walter” – in black embossed leather, at just $1200 a pop. I know what you’re thinking – how many bags does this boy need? Just this one, and I’ll stop. I swear. Try me.

Now onto the real wants. In order to satisfy my travel yearnings, I’m eyeing a solo trip to the Southwest – somewhere with a desert, somewhere with a spa, somewhere where I can find myself. Simple enough, no?

But as is my wont, I only want to do it in luxury – starting with something akin to the Four Seasons. I don’t often get such highfalutin accommodations, and when I do it makes for an unforgettable experience.

Second, the gift of scent – always a safe bet for this olfactory-obsessed guy. Of course fragrance options are only safe when you don’t veer off the selections. (If you think you can pick out cologne I’ll like without my input, you will always be wrong.) Here are the few I’m feeling and fiending for right now.

Frederic Malle’s ‘Dans Tes Bras’ is the last of the current Malle fragrances that I want. (Here’s a trick I’ve done in the past – if you like an expensive scent like Malle, at most Barney’s stores you can ask for the travel size – which I think is 30 ml – for less than half the $225 price point of the regular size. It’s the best thing for a cologne chameleon like myself.) Obviously, I’m not going to turn down the regular size, as it would last me a lifetime, so use your own discretion.

As for perennial favorite Tom Ford, I offer a trio of choices, so there can still be an element of surprise: Amber Absolute, Lavender Palm, or Santal Blush. Any one of these would be a prize and, with the possible exception of Lavender Palm (which may not be out yet), should be available online at Neiman Marcus.

Third, the gift of wardrobe. When I was a kid, I hated the rectangular clothing boxes more than anything – no matter what was in it – a sweater, a pair of pants, a selection of socks – it was always a ho-hum gift that paled next to toys. My how times have changed – it’s hard to imagine there was ever a moment when I wouldn’t appreciate an item of clothing (Mom’s annual L.L. Bean matching fleece fiasco is the exception to the rule). This year I’ve got my sights set on a few shirts from Brooks Brothers – contact me directly for size and style, or just go with a gift certificate and save us all the trouble.

Fourth, you can never go wrong with a libation, and the makings of a cocktail are a perennially-classy choice. This year I’m wallowing in whiskey – preferably the 15 YO Fine Oak from Macallan as suggested by someone in-the-know. Or, if you’re looking to splurge, add three years for the 18 YO. Either way, whiskey warms the cockles of the heart better than just about anything.

Okay, fine, I lied about the one-more-bag only, but here’s a more decently-priced one from Cole Haan, which you can find online HERE at Zappos.com of all places. See, I do mingle with the people, dipping into the population, etc…

One is Cole Haan, one is Jack Spade, and one is H&M.

That’s how we roll.

Now, I realize that my birthday is almost two months away, but every year someone asks me what I want the week before it happens, only by then it’s too late to order anything on time, so here is the early-bird special wish-list. (To be honest, I don’t know why I bother, except for the fact that I live in the future moment – every time I do these lists they are widely ignored. But I’m nothing if not adept at living in my head.)

We’ll begin with this leather tote by Cole Haan, currently on a steal of a sale HERE at Zappos.com. I am all about the tote bag since my first foray into the style (thanks to the new Men’s Coach Store at Copley).

Somewhere along the line I got it into my head that totes were for the beach, or harried Moms, so they never really pinged on my accessory radar. How wrong I was. The tote is an amazing piece – in form and function just as much as style. No longer do I need to carry my lunch to work in a separate plastic bag. It fits – along with just about everything else – right inside the tote.

Along those lines, those in slightly more-fun color combos, here’s a pair of beauties from Jack Spade (HERE). I’d be thrilled with either to close off the summer.

If you just can’t bring yourself to tow the tote idea, here’s a classic messenger bag from Jack Spade in one of my new favorite colors – gray. I love the subtle plaid pattern, and would spend hours occupied in finding a matching pair of pants. Anything that keeps me busy is a good thing for those whose company I can tire. (Andy…) It’s available on Zappos HERE.

While totes and messenger bags are nice, my heart has always belonged to the one who gets me cologne. Right now I’m obsessed with grapefruit and neroli, but I’ve already found my fix for the latter, so we’re looking for the grapefruit. It can be found in the form of Hermes and their Eau de Pamplemousse Rose. The last time I looked they had this at the Sephora store in Boston – I could not find it online or in our paltry Colonie store. (Originally I thought it too late for a rose fragrance, but this is really dominated by the grapefruit, so I’ve changed my mind.)

UPDATE: The Colonie Sephora just got this in – only it’s in the perfume (i.e. Women’s) section. Luckily I’ve never minded anything intended for the ladies. Clutches included.

Finally, in these times of financial duress, I understand that some people may want to give a gift that is more useful than my umpteenth messenger bag or a fleeting bottle of cologne. To those that would like to make such an investment, I am obsessed with this beauty from Restoration Hardware:

It’s the Chesterfield Upholstered Sleigh Bed. We need a King-size bed – there’s just no way around it. One way or another it’s going to end up in my bedroom, if I have to auction off the rest of the house for it to happen. Don’t make me auction. View the glory Here.

My birthday started off in the best possible way – with breakfast at a diner. Since Andy doesn’t really like the morning meal, I rarely get to indulge in one of my favorite things to do, but since it was my birthday he had to oblige.

In this case it was Quintessence, that venerable Albany landmark that recently (or not-so-recently) re-opened in the hope of recapturing its former glory, and from most accounts it comes pretty close. The last time I was here was in the mid-90’s, with Suzie for a brunch or something if I recall. Not much has changed, which is why I wanted to revisit it.

There are few joys in the world as satisfying as a good diner breakfast. Something about it makes everything taste better. (Especially the toast - how do they get the toast to taste so good? And how come mine never approaches that melt-in-your-mouth magic? No matter how much butter I throw on it, it can’t compare.)

Even the simplest glasses of OJ and coffee become works of art in a proper diner.

And while they don’t serve eggs benedict on weekdays (even if it’s your birthday – though I didn’t tell them), a good ham and cheese omelette works just as well.

The side of potatoes was the only off-key note of the morning, tasting merely like, well, potatoes. Plain potatoes with nary a hint of spice or seasoning. (I’ve suddenly gone all Albany Jane on you.) Luckily, Andy’s French toast, and the few bites I was afforded of it, made up for this.

After breakfast, we headed back home for the lady to do our house appraisal. Yes, somehow it got scheduled on my birthday, but I could have cared less, for I was off shopping. For one day I got to do two of my most favorite things in the world – breakfast and shopping. I found a pair of deeply discounted Cole Haan suede shoes, so someone from up above was wishing me a Happy Birthday too.

After that, it was off to Amsterdam for a family dinner, including appearances from the cutest babies in the universe – my niece and nephew. Here is Emi Lu on my lap.

And here is the funniest baby Noah. (You should see his smile – it’s insane.)

And one more of Emi…

For their first few months, Noah was the easy-going, quieter one. Now their roles have reversed and he’s going everywhere, while Emi can sit still and contemplate. It will be interesting to see where they go from here.

As for me, I’m 35, married, with no children, and there’s not much more to say about it. I can’t complain – I still lead one of the most charmed lives of anyone I know, and I am very grateful for that. Now it’s time to dive into the next year.