Happiness is a dinner with my husband, in a city by the sea.
Blog Archives
23
August
2012
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August
2012
07
May
2012
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May
2012
Our Wedding Anniversary Recap
It’s hard (and easy) to believe that two years have passed since Andy and I got married, but here we are. And here’s a reminder of that special weekend:
Part 1: The Arrival & Accommodations
Part 3: The Last Call of a Bachelor
Part 4: The Dawn of the Wedding Day
Part 6: The Perfect Day in the Park
Bonus Post: The Residual Glow of Marriage
15
January
2011
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January
2011
The Madonna Timeline: Song #26 – ‘Music’ – September 2000
{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
Hey Mr. DJ, put a record on,
I wanna dance with my baby…
In a vocoder-enhanced robotic voice of the future, the opening salvo of ‘Music’ found Madonna entering the new millennium ready to boogie-woogie. This song reminds me of my husband. Fun, funky, and instantly-classic. It came out just after I met him, and as such will always hold a special place in my heart.
It was September of 2000. I was traveling between Boston and Albany as Andy and I figured out what we were becoming. On a weekend alone, I heard this song on the radio for the first time. I sat there in the condo, ear up against the speaker, stunned and enraptured and slightly underwhelmed as I am the first time I hear any new Madonna song (it’s a good omen – see ‘Frozen’ and ‘Like A Prayer’). This was both a throw-back to her earliest R&B-dance roots, and an unflinching look to the future thanks to the computerized blips and stuttering booms of Mirwais. It was just before Internet leaks took over, and it was still possible to remain in the dark as to what a song sounded like until it premiered on the radio, and somehow I caught it at just the right moment. By the end of it, I was even dancing a little.
Do you like to Boogie Woogie?
Do you like my acid-rock?
Oh I more than liked it, I loved it. And I more than liked Andy. It was a time of celebration, a time of gleeful abandon, of giving it up to the beat, to the music, and to the prospect of loving and being loved.
And when the music starts, I never wanna stop,
It’s gonna drive me crazy…
Music…
Simple. Powerful. To the point. It was Madonna bringing it like only she could, staking another musical milestone with a memory that would burn brightly as one of the happiest in my life. As Summer ripened into Fall, and Andy and I felt our way into our relationship, Madonna was the soundtrack that formed the backdrop to all of the fun.
Music makes the people come together – yeah,
Music makes the bourgeoisie and a rebel…
That September marked our first trip together. We drove up to Ogunquit, Maine where Andy knew a few people, and it felt like we were a world away from everything else. In this fantastical place there was a beautiful ocean shore, a breathtaking seaside walk, a jewel-box of restaurants, and a couple of bars and dance clubs to fill the nights with adventure.
Don’t think of yesterday and I don’t look at the clock
I like to boogie-woogie.
It’s like riding on the wind and it never goes away
Touches everything I’m in, got to have it every day.
Andy’s friend Al ran MaineStreet at the time, and, while still relatively new, it had already established itself as a go-to spot for the good-time crowd. As the bar began to fill, and the lights flashed, the throbbing dance beat built to the first of many crescendos. Soon the dance floor was moving with the collective break-neck motions of the music-mad masses. It was then when I felt, more than heard, the opening strains of the Calderone Anthem Mix. Victor Calderone has a way with crafting a killer Madonna remix, steadily building and adding to his creation until it gives glorious way to the thundering pinnacle of its climax, and there it dangles for a delicious moment before its precipitous drop and heady whoosh to a racing conclusion.
I’ve got a bad-gay admission to make: I don’t go out to dance clubs a lot. I never have. I usually prefer the quiet atmosphere of a bar to the techno-deadened bass attack of a club any day. But once in a while I’ll have a night out when a club is exactly what I’m looking for, and if there’s a Madonna song on (as there more than likely will be) it makes it all the better, as if I’m meant to be exactly there, at that moment.
It’s happened a few times – a Calderone remix of ‘Frozen’ in the chilly Rochester winter, a transcendent bit of ‘Isaac’ and the exhilarating rush of ‘Vogue’ reborn in Chelsea, and Tracy Young’s whirling take on ‘Don’t Tell Me’ on a rare Saturday at Waterworks. This time it was ‘Music’ in Ogunquit, with a new boyfriend by my side, a new club in the midst of establishing itself, and a new Madonna album on the horizon. For that one moment, all was right with the world.
Music makes the people come together – yeah,
Music makes the bourgeoisie and a rebel…
On a technical side-note, ‘Music’ marked Madonna’s 12th Number One hit on the Billboard charts (and her last one, thus far). The album also debuted at #1 – her first number one album since 1989 (she’s been luckier in that of late, as every one of her studio albums since Music has managed to hit the top spot for at least a week – American Life, Confessions on a Dance Floor, and Hard Candy).
While spottier than its predecessor of perfection (the magnificent and yet-to-be-topped Ray of Light), Music was a more-fun companion-piece. I made my customary pilgrimage to Tower Records on Newbury Street (I think it was still Tower Records at that point – if not, then Virgin) for the midnight release, and got a free poster because I bought the Limited Edition special CD. The poster featured Madonna in high-cowgirl mode, a style that at first seemed jarring (she did once proclaim that she would never date a guy who wore cowboy boots) but ended up working better than even she probably anticipated. (Picture a smattering of pink cowboy hats at her ‘Drowned World Tour’ stops.)
As for the video, directed by Jonas Akerlund, Madonna also went back to old-school MTV fun, with a cheeky bit by Sacha Baron Cohen as Ali G, girl support from Niki Haris and Debi Mazar, and a requisite animated sequence that found a cartoon Madonna super-heroine in a Metropolis-like world with buildings and signs featuring the names of past hits. At that stage in her career, she could already look back with a wink, confident that the release of a new Madonna album was still a momentous event.
There have been a number of memorable live performances of ‘Music’ – most notably its limo-centric free-for-all at the Grammy Awards, an incredible Live 8 version, and the finale to the Drowned World Tour. But I think it was her mash-up of ‘Music’ and ‘Disco Inferno’ from the ‘Confessions Tour’ that holds status as my favorite performance of the song:
Do you like to Boogie Woogie?
Song #26: ‘Music’– September 2000
22
July
2010
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July
2010
Ten Years Ago This Summer
The photos and prose here were uncovered in an old project of mine – A Man of Mode – that I wrote ten years ago, right after I met Andy. Not to portray myself as psychic, but it’s amazing how much of it has come true in the ensuing decade since it was written:
August 2000: At the end of the summer I sit on the back terrace of my parents’ house. The sky is that brilliant blue which only comes with the arrival of fall, and the sun is intensely bright through the crisp, cool air. A breeze rustles the leaves and the pool glistens with tiny waves.
The gardens are wildly overgrown, but the flowers of the perennial bed are rich and vibrant ~ the startling golden-yellow of the black-eyed Susans, the light magenta of the purple coneflower, and the orange-red shadings of the gloriosa daisy. The fading blue globes of echinops and the pastel palette of the malva are the only subtle bloomers now. It is almost time for the gardens to go to sleep. In a few weeks I shall return to plant the spring bulbs and say good-night for another season. All the rain has fortified the plants and next year looks to be brighter and better. I breathe this sunny air and feel calm. The chaos has come to a close, the curtain contentedly descended. A monarch butterfly alights upon a bush by the pool, its wings gently undulating and reflecting spotted glory. I am alone in the sublime beauty, but my heart does not ache.
Fragmented visages of the future soar before me as the butterly flutters through the forest and disappears. I can see Andy with me ~ working in the garden I think ~ as a friend or lover, I cannot tell and it does not matter. Of course Suzie is there and she is making me laugh. My parents ~ older and funnier ~ wiser and accepting ~ are at holiday dinners and summer vacations. I can see my brother and his wife and their children ~ my nieces and nephews ~ and these kids like me. To them I am Uncle Al ~ the crazy fun guy in the family who gives the best birthday and Christmas presents. I make them laugh and know that they won’t let me die alone. That old fear has been erased ~ replaced by the sweet realization that I am somebody to be loved, and always have been. Why has love been so easy to give and so difficult to receive?
I feel the transient nature of the moment, but not the panic that customarily accompanies the feeling. There is no longer the need for a photo shoot or other lasting evidence ~ I take the beauty into my soul and it is all I need. A dragonfly darts about the pool, skimming itself across the water and crackling light off its translucent wings. No one sees this but me, and I smile a smile which no one will ever witness.
In some ways, this is the life I have crafted for myself and Andy, and though it hasn’t always unfolded in the exact way we may have envisioned it, everything that’s happened was meant to be, and we’re both pretty lucky. I can’t wait to see where the next ten years take us together.
14
May
2010
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May
2010
The Residual Glow of Marriage
“Never again would they be parted. All the rest of their lives they would be together.” – E.B. White, The Trumpet of the Swan
The first thing most people asked when I returned from our wedding was whether or not I felt any different. I assumed, and professed many times, that I would not feel any such shift – why should anything change after nine years with Andy? The biggest difference would be a bit more sparkle on my ring finger, and a few new memories of Boston.
I was wrong. The day I got married was one of the happiest of my life. The ceremony, the words, the blessings of family and friends, and the legal document – they all created a moment and a covenant between Andy and me that made a profound difference in my life. It was as if, finally, our relationship was official. Not that it hadn’t been for the previous ten years – this just affirmed it publicly, and though outwardly nothing may have changed, I think it resonated within both of us.
I don’t usually gush about love and stuff – and I’ve always taken the hard line and adhered to Madonna’s warning of, “What’s the point of sitting down and notating your happiness?” There’s something powerful and compelling about the darker side of life, something more interesting and artistic in the sadder aspects of our world – but every now and then there’s a moment of happiness and joy that transcends the cliches and mundane platitudes of Hallmark love, and for the first time I felt that.
13
May
2010
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May
2010
Our Wedding, Part 8: The Wedding Dinner
For our last evening in Boston, we prepared for a very special dinner at Mistral, courtesy of my Mom and Dad. We had never been there, so we made the reservations based on good word of mouth, and the hope that all the rave reviews were true.
For this night, I brought out a checkered bow tie.
Andy chose a tie by Christian Lacroix. (Yes, sweetie darling, Lacroix.)
Dinner was amazing – I debated between the cornish game hen and their signature sole dish, opting for the sole in the end. Andy’s sister Karen got the game hen and said it was excellent.
Andy finished with a piece of carrot cake that he says is the best he has ever had in his life. It was a glorious end to the happiest weekend of my life.
We walked Karen back to the Park Plaza on a beautiful, breezy spring night.
Our hotel welcomed us home with bursts of peonies, and warm light.
For our final fashion moment – t-shirts and boxers – the true sign of a contented couple.
And so begins our happily ever after…
{To be continued on July 24, 2010.}
13
May
2010
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May
2010
Our Wedding, Part 7: The Wedding Lunch
After our stroll in the park, we headed across the street to the hotel to change and fill out the official marriage documentation.Here is Chris as he signs the license and makes it all legally official.
Andy and I changed into dressier pants for a lunch at the Four Seasons, and placed the bridal bouqet in a vase above the fireplace.
This was my white raincoat, in the event of rain – now I could wear it just for its fun ruffled back.
Andy opted for khakis over fancy frills, but we both kept our matching shirts on as we headed over to the Four Seasons for a midday lunch courtesy of “Aunt” Elaine and Suzie.
Andy and I had reserved the Bristol Lounge of the Four Seasons on our last trip to Boston, and their service was splendid. They even brought out a congratulatory chocolate tower cake – eight layers of chocolate and cream that was enough to feed all nine of us following a delicious meal.
After lunch, we had some time to ourselves to rest and relax.
Later in the day, I returned to the Public Garden alone. A pair of swans was just beginning to build a nesting area on the side of the pond. One of them swam around with the swan boats, periodically returning to his partner, who seemed to be doing most of the work. Not unlike a certain other couple…
{To be continued…}
12
May
2010
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May
2010
Our Wedding, Part 6: The Perfect Day in the Park
When we chose the Boston Public Garden as the site of our wedding, we knew there was the potential of bad weather. May is hardly the safest month to bank on sunny skies, but we also decided that rain or shine, there was nowhere else we’d rather do it. We’d spent a number of our Boston trips strolling through the leafy expanse, watching the playful squirrels and waterfowl, and it always felt like an oasis in the midst of the city.
The site of the ceremony was near two of my favorite trees – a mighty Metasequoia and a looming larch – and between two flowering cherries.
On this, our wedding day, we truly lucked out. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and a pair of swans was just beginning to nest by the pond. After the ceremony, we walked around the park, savoring the moment and the beauty.
It is one of our favorite places in the whole world.
{To be continued…}
12
May
2010
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May
2010
Our Wedding, Part 5: The Ceremony
The hotel has changed their flower display in the lobby. On the morning of our wedding, big, beautiful double pink peonies burst forth in bloom, filling the air with their gorgeous fragrance. Grounded by green hydrangeas and backed by soaring pink cherry blossoms, it is the perfect backdrop to a sunny spring day.
Back up in the room, I have changed into my wedding outfit and take one last look at the Garden to see if I can glimpse our families assembling.
As decreed many moons ago, I am wearing an old pair of ripped jeans. They are the same pair of jeans I was wearing when I met Andy in the summer of 2000. Now, almost exactly ten years later, I somehow still fit into them.
I have on something old (a pair of lime-green moccasins circa 1995), something new (a striped Burberry shirt), something borrowed (a stone necklace from Denmark, courtesy of Suzie, that I have tied around a belt loop), and something blue (the jeans). Andy wears a lime-green shirt that matches mine, and a pair of new jeans.
Suzie has brought an unexpectedly-perfect bouquet of white peonies for me to carry, and they smell sweetly of summer. (Of all things, and of all people, I did not think of having flowers, but Suzie saves the day.)
It is time.
We make our way to the Boston Public Garden, where we meet up with our families.
Our friend and officiant Chris crafted the ceremony we had always envisioned – simple, sweet, meaningful, and with just a few touches of humor to keep our families smiling.
There were a few tears of happiness as well, and I finally understood what all the fuss was about. I always wondered if people really meant it when they said that their wedding day was the happiest of their lives. For me, it certainly was.
After the final vows and the first official kiss, I just had this overwhelming wish to hug Andy because I was so happy. It wasn’t planned, but that’s what love does.
{To be continued…}
