A Sporting Favor

{The only thing I know about this man is that he was supposed to retire a long time ago, not unlike some of the people in my workplace.}

The world of organized sports (hell, any sport for that matter) is a complete mystery to me. It’s also largely a mystery I feel no urge to solve, or even touch upon in the slightest. That leaves me outside of a lot of conversations and shared interests, particularly at this time of the year, when football season is about to begin.

About the only thing I know about football is that it’s played on some insanely large field (I had to march on one during half-time when I was in the Amsterdam Marching Band. Yeah, picture me marching with a double reed in my mouth and a plastic oboe in my hands. Not pretty nor in any way smart.)

But this is the sort of field on which so many of us come together, throw off our differences, and find common excitement and shared joy in the experience of a game. I never got to have that – not with my father or brother or any of the sports-minded friends who have been in my life – and part of me feels like it has missed out. Take for instance the titular issue of Brett Favre.


It boggles my mind that everyone somehow knows that Brett Favre’s last name is not pronounced “favor”, as if there is some magic football tutorial that everyone got but me. The whole language of sports-talk has always proved elusive, and it’s just too late to learn. In trying to find a gratuitous Brett Favre shirtless photo for your viewing pleasure, I stumbled upon one that had the caption, “Brett Favre is like a sassy ex-girlfriend to Packers fans.” What does that even mean? All I got was sassy and Packer, and I’m guessing my read of that is totally wrong.

I did manage to find the above locker-room shot of Mr. Favre (who, it turns out, loves to give his fellow-players spankings from time to time – how can I not know more about this?) Consider it a peace offering to any sports-loving friends I have not bonded with – and if you’re not a fan of Brett, there’s always Beckham (who also plays football, which is apparently a completely different game than… umm… football.)

(It was much easier to find David Beckham in skimpy underwear.) And now I’ve forgotten the whole point of this post. Something about balls?

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