Hunk of the Day: Ryan Seacrest

It’s comical to me that Simon Cowell was named a Hunk of the Day before Ryan Seacrest, but I have a strange sense of humor. Now it’s Mr. Seacrest’s turn, and perhaps he deserves the honor a bit more. Out off all the Hollywood teflon pseudo-stars, I’d have paid good money to bet that Seacrest hid an immaculately banging body beneath those fitted suits, toned by expensive trainers and live-in-chefs. That it’s more average than chiseled is rather endearing, and I think I recall tales of a chubby Ryan in his youth. Anyway, he’s perfectly fine here, and I’ll refrain from making the usual catty gay jokes. Like saying that if Ryan Seacrest were really gay, he’d never let himself get that *fat.

(* – See ‘gay fat’ below.)

Gay fat: the average paunch of a heterosexual male, considered ‘fat’ by the gay community that worships unattainable abs as deities.

By the way, I can get away with saying that Mr. Seacrest is ‘gay fat’ because I’m carrying more than my fair share of gay fat, and happy to be doing so. I’ll leave the starvation to the twinks and models.

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