Remembering Gram
A year ago today my Gram passed away. In the Philippines, the anniversary of a loved one’s death is an occasion for gathering and remembering, and I still remember getting together with all the family at my Auntie Naty’s home in New Jersey the year after a family member died. She’d have elaborate masses and novenas (they made me do a reading at these and I always wished I was the dead one), and a make-shift altar with statues of saints and candles that dripped pools of wax onto embroidered linens.
Rather than the maudlin affairs these might have been, they were actually little celebrations. By the end of the evening, after all the prayers and the food and the mini-family-reunions, whoever had passed away had somehow brought us all together, in their memory. And then, after a year, it was time to move on.
Though my Mom’s side of the family is not Filipino, it’s a nice tradition to continue, so today we’re having our family over to remember Gram. I think she’d be tickled by it.
My one wish was that Gram could have been part of our wedding, but she made her presence known. Upon arriving at our hotel in Boston, we saw a woman walking a dachshund, Gram’s favorite companion. It was her way of welcoming us. Later on, we noticed the painting (below) in the lobby – another dachshund – and another sign that Gram was still with us.
July 4th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Alan, that is a great tradition, it’s a way of keeping a loved but lost one alive.
One of the strangest things of death are, that the bad memories are quickly forgotten and the good memories stay with us, sometimes a lifelong.
July 4th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Memories, dates, times and places are all such powerful memories. Today would have been my father’s 79th birthday.