A Not-So-Single Man
Andy and I saw ‘A Single Man’ last night. If I were asked if I liked it immediately after it ended, I would have said no, it was disappointing. However, like many great movies (and some amazing songs) it has since haunted my head, and I find little remnants of it replaying themselves in my mind, lending a resonance and fullness that I hadn’t noticed upon my first viewing.
It was most moving when it showed how the relationship between the male lead and his partner of sixteen years was more real and profound than most of the marriages around them, yet how isolating and alone it became in a time when being gay meant being invisible.
In an age where we still have to fight for gay marriage, where ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ will likely be on the books for the next few years, and where a gay kiss can’t be shown during the Superbowl, I wonder how much has actually changed.
All I know is that I’m grateful that Andy is with me, and I can’t - and would never want to - imagine a life without him.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Alan, you’re preparing to marry the man you love in a state where same sex marriage is legal. When I was in college, in culturally backward Tennessee, men could not dance together in bars.. Instead we had to sit around tables, to listen to music while we talked and flirted. Just about every other weekend the cops came in around closing time, turned on all the lights and carded the customers.. still, it was great fun. If we wanted to dance.. and many guys did, we drove out-of-town to a hidden-away road-house and rocked the night away. Observing the progress of what often seems to be snail-paced gay-rights victories, including Obama’s greatly applauded State of the Union promise to end DADT, I believe that all things relative to improving the quality and visibility of gay life have changed for the better. Just wait.. cause it’s all coming our way.
January 31st, 2010 at 7:42 pm
dear Alan :your faithful readers rejoice about your marriage.Isherwood was partenered by a younger boy who was an artist.They had this common link .Now my boy,if you want to go on successfully,you both must have a future project.I am glad your blog is optimistic and not filled with ennui