Accessory to Accessorizing: The Latest Crime of Fashion
By Alan Bennett IlaganAsk what the hottest accessory of the day is and you're likely to get a few answers: the iPod, the Moto Razr V3 cel phone, the Blackberry, or the Sony Clie PDA. All of these are electronic items with a futuristic edge, and fine for what they are, but the alarming trend is that these hi-tech gadgets are becoming fashion accessories at the expense of traditional sartorial accoutrements. Granted, watch fobs and frills had gone by the wayside long before the advent of the walkman and hand-held video game player, but now we are seeing the collective decline of style as a result. The ads for these devices always feature the same scene: a person dancing down the street in a sad mix of clothing unfit for anything but a Saturday of housecleaning and yard-work. Yet this is the style that many of us are emulating. We pour our money into computerized apparatus at the expense of quality fashion. It is an alarming trend.
What is the world coming to when the latest fashion accessory is an iPod? Where is the fashion in that? Sleek it may be, functional and convenient it undoubtedly is, but stylish it's not. No matter how you color it, the sight of wires dangling from the ears will always look ridiculous, I don't care what Alexander McQueen does in the future.
It may seem prudish and old-fashioned to decry current trends, claiming that things just aren't the way they used to be, but in this instance it seems justified. Electronic accessories are overtaking real accessories ~ the belts, the wallets, the ties, the cuff links, and the watches that truly bring an outfit together. We are losing the all-important art of presentation. We no longer know how to tie a tie or how many buttons should be buttoned on a suit. It not only becomes problematic for weddings and funerals, but for job interviews and other important events as well. (How many guys keep a collection of pre-tied ties for precisely this reason?)
Have electronic items taken the place of elegant suit lines and silk handkerchiefs? Judging from the current crop of Cargo-featured items, it's not what you wear, but what you can communicate with that matters most. The ads featuring the iPod and earphones don't feature glamorous duds Ð these are geared toward an information nation, and people who apparently don't have the fashion sense God gave a lemon, with their baggy shorts, unkempt hair and denim jackets. The shapeless utilitarian street clothes may be the armor that all the kids are wearing, but there's nothing classy or elegant about it. Perhaps the main message here is that mediocre fashion can be overlooked if one has the proper high-tech accessory and accompanying carrying case.
It is possible to have both ~ the sleek, slim-fit suit of today works especially well with the modern miniature versions of the cel-phone, while the thin body of the latest digital camera slid unobtrusively into a jacket pocket is hi-tech elegance done right. This is the crux of fashion and function, but we rarely witness such sophistication on a regular basis. To combat the inherent ugliness of all the metal and plastic, the electronic people have created another market comprised of cases and covers. Cel-phones come encrusted with Swarovski crystals, lap-top carrying cases are produced in a dizzying array of designs and styles, and iPod arm bands come in styles to match one's sorry outfit.
What happened to the days of monogrammed cigarette holders, money clips, wallets of fine leather, watch fobs of gold and silver, cuff links of jade and onyx, and studs of diamonds and pearls? I suppose there is something to be said for today's chunky glamour of ghetto gold and the sparkling diamonds of the bling-bling Hollywood set, even if it's not to your taste, but aside from this our accessories seem fewer and further between.
It's not the color of the iPod that sets one apart from others, and true, it may not be the cut of one's suit either, but there is a distinct difference between the care and concern of putting oneself together with a perfectly pressed shirt and a neatly puckered tie versus the haphazard slovenly sloppiness of un-tucked shirts topped off by a cel phone on the waist and an MP3 Player around the neck.
What is happening here? Have we really gone so spiritually crazy that it's only the inside that matters? Are we to look beyond the outside superficial layer of clothing and into the heart of a cold Motorola? Are we to cow-tow to Michael Gates and his limited scope of Mac colors instead of honoring John Galliano or the latest endeavor of Tom Ford? I long for the days when clothes made the man, when a person could be judged solely on the thickness of their pinstripes and the quality of their briefcase leather. We have traded one degree of judgment for another, and in the process we are slowly losing the ability to properly coordinate and accessorize. It is a sad day. As a wise woman once said, and I paraphrase, "The ability to accessorize is the only thing that separates us from the animals." We are but one step away from the dogs.